A few days ago one of my loyal readers expressed concern about some of my posts. She was worried that I was depressed and not doing well and pointed to a few posts that led her to believe that things weren't going so well. She was a little concerned that maybe some of my comments were not very appropriate to put on a public forum like a blog.
I'm gonna weigh in on this...'cause it's my blog and I can.
At first I was like, "What the heck is she talking about?"
I called a few close friends and asked them what they thought, they assured me that there was nothing inappropriate or weird (noting that while some people are not comfortable talking about bodily functions, I have always been vocal about that subject, so NO, they did not find that weird coming from me). They assured me that they took my posts in the mostly sarcastic vein in which they were written. Just to make sure, I read through a few of the posts and realized that this person doesn't know me like some of my other readers do and I can see how maybe she would take some of my comments too seriously or out of context.
I guess it never occured to me that sarcasm doesn't always translate in the context of the written word. I just assumed everyone would know that I am sarcastic by nature and that I deal with life's issues in one of 2 ways: I sourround myself with the problem by literally living in it and talking about it until I am so overwhelmed by it that I finally extract myself from it and run away like a kicked dog, OR
I mock the problem by pointing out the absurdity of the situation in great detail. It's called sarcasm. It's what I do. Why? Mostly cause I have no other coping skills. The few I used to have (humor - like bust a gut, laughing really hard, true, funny kind of humor) and patience flew out the window a long time ago, when I naively decided to let other people be involved in my life. Some of you know those people. They are called husband and kids. Life changing, those people. What's really hilarious? They have NO idea! They just think I woke up grumpy one day. Gotta love 'em.
So lack of coping skills leaves me with sarcasm. I thought you knew this about me! I thought my writing made it clear that I mock things sometimes because I don't know what else to do. And because life is pretty funny in an ironic way. When I am really depressed and needing help I usually scream it out here on my blog pretty clearly. Because when I am really depressed I need those comments that help me know that I am not alone.
So the post where I was sick and self medicating with apple juice to fix a gall bladder problem? The one titled Why I am not a Doctor? That was sarcasm. Obviously I would suck as a doctor because I was doing the wrong thing to help myself. And I went into great detail about all of my symptoms because I wanted my readers to really appreciate the misery I was feeling with all of my cold/allergy symptoms, ON TOP of having a kidney issue. That's how I write. I want my readers to be drawn into the situation. Mud, blood, guts, poop, emotions and all. My hope is that when they fully immerse themselves in the details, they will recognize that we all go through the same stupid stuff and they are not alone. My hope is that they will feel something when they read. My hope is that they will see the humor in the ridiculous, sick details.
Maybe the humor in that last post didn't come across like I thought it did. Gimme a break, I was ill! But now you know. If I'm depressed and sick and not laughing about it and feeling trapped? I'll tell you. Seriously...do I sound like someone who holds anything back?
So remember...it's called sarcasm. It's what I do. Kind of. Sometimes. When it translates well. When I'm not sick or depressed.