So you've all listened to me whine and complain and vent and stress and whatever else it is that I do and have done over the last two years on this blog when it comes to my personal and wanted professional life. I'm sure there are times when you all wonder if I am EVER going to make peace with my issues and finally lay them to rest!?! You know what? I wonder the same thing. And I can tell you that I am closer than I have ever been to just letting go of all those things that have kept me from living the kind of life I want for me and for my family. My boys and my husband (and myself, for that matter!) deserve the best I can give them and I have not given any of us the best of who I am.
The last months/year have brought comments and support from all kinds of people in my life and for the first time ever, I feel like I have finally been in a place to receive the help with humility and gratitude, rather than with embarrassment and guilt. Being able to accept the help without feeling like a loser was a huge step for me. Without those feelings of worthlessness and stupidity clouding my view, I see things from a very different perspective. For the first time in a very long time I have hope that my life can be the life I want it to be, regardless of my past, regardless of who I married, regardless of my parenting skills, regardless of my level of education, regardless of the stress that comes with each new trial. I can be the person I want to be, inspite of what my negative self says.
I know, this is like 2nd grade psychology. I tell my kids stuff like this everyday. I just never tell myself stuff like this. But other people have been good about telling me stuff like this. People like my friend with the very funny son who makes hilarious videos. She's been quietly following my blog for some time now. She never leaves comments so I had no idea she read my posts. Until she sent me an email after I freaked out about that job I didn't get but really wanted. She gave me some excellent advice, which I followed. I still didn't get that particular job, but I feel a lot better about my ability to get that killer job, whenever I run across another one. So I want to thank my new friend for taking the time to offer a kind word and some really good counsel. She made a difference in my life.
I have to thank my family. My mom and sister have gone out of their way to help me work through the financial situation with which we have struggled for the past 2 years. I know they look at me sometimes and wonder what is wrong with me and why I make the choices I make. I have wondered the same thing, on many, many occasions. All I can say is that part of the reason I have had the financial struggle is because I have had to struggle with other demons that have kept me from being able to go forward sometimes. But I think I finally have a handle on all of emotions and I am done being helpless and paralyzed by fear. Thanks for not judging me.
I also want to thank my regular readers: Miss Hope, Miss Pike, Kristi, Sports Mama, Queen of Chaos, Deana, Denise, Tam, Trisha, Alepuz, Koni, Bandana Mom, Party of Six, Suzanne, all the other Boy Moms out there and the many, many other readers who stop by regularly to stay in touch and either commiserate or laugh at my endless conundrums. I love and appreciate each and every one of you. Even the chick who posts in whatever Asian language you write in. I don't know what you are saying, but thanks for the effort.
Bear with me, people, I know this is starting to sound like an Academy Award speech. I just need to do this while I am still full of gratitude today. Tomorrow might find me exhausted and grumpy again, with no desire to say anything nice to anybody.
I also want to thank the companies who have worked with me to offer products for my review and giveaways for my readers. I have gotten to know many of you on a more personal level and have enjoyed making new friends (Maria and Amy and BSM Media, Jeff, Jason). You have all been extremely helpful when I have asked for advice or help or even sponsorships. It means a lot to me that you are willing to give me the opportunity to use my writing skills to help promote your products. I work hard to give honest reviews and to let the people in my circle of influence know about who you are and what you have to offer in the way of products that are family friendly, I hope that my efforts have helped you as much as you have helped me. It has been so rewarding and fun to share what you make and sell with the people around me, in my neighborhood and around the blogosphere. The fact that I am kind of the "gal-in-the-know" who gets the cool hook-ups has shot me up the cool ladder about 8 rungs. So thanks for helpin' a sistah get some street creds, guys.
This post is getting long now and I can feel eyes glazing over as some of you keep reading and reading and reading and thinking "Oh my Gosh! Does she ever stop talking?" Nope. I don't. So I will wrap this post up for today and continue my gratitude post as Part 2 tomorrow. Lots of love and hugs to all my blog friends and family! Ya'll rock out loud!