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Sunday, November 2, 2008

My Big Fat Delirious Sugar Induced Blog Post

Anyone else laying on the couch with a Halloween Candy Headache? I think I ate more sugar this weekend than I have all year.

In retrospect, I can see that I did not prepare myself for this night of sweets. Having given up soda a few months ago, I failed to realize that I am still struggling with sugar withdrawl. AAUUGGHHH! I had no plan! How could I have left myself so open and vulnerable? On top of it, I am totally hormonal, so chocolate is callin' my name, all day long! "Hey...fat girl! It's me. Hershey. I got my friend here too. Baby Ruth. Just so you know, girl, we're here for you. No pressure, though. Just lettin' ya know. We're here. We ain't leavin'. So you know, stop by and check out our new wrappers when ya get a minute. They're cool. Then you can say Hi to Reeses while you're by the bowl. So yeah...that's it. By the way...Pepsi says to tell you hi and that He misses you!"

And so, I checked out the wrappers. Many wrappers. The outside of the wrappers were cool, but I had to see the inside of the wrappers too. And not just chocolate wrappers. Cause after I had some chocolate I had to balance that taste out with some fruity flavors, so I chawed down some Laffy Taffy and Starbursts. (No Skittles this year, in either bowl. I checked. Because I like to sort them by color before I eat them by color group.) Then the headache hit. Dang! Hershey set me up!

There are 2 good pieces of news here. I did not break into the giant Pixie Stick, which would have left my tongue covered with cancor sores and would have seriously brought me to a new low in Halloween Candy Hijacking.

The other good piece of news: 4 small bottles of Pepsi sit in the fridge untouched. The love affair is definitely over.

Oh...one more good piece of news! I am so sick from my sugar OD this weekend that I am seriously craving vegetables. Why don't carrots and spinach invite me over to look at their wrappers more often? Oh yeah...no wrappers. No matter, my body hears their whispers tonight and tomorrow I will be conversing with a nice green salad. "Hi fat girl! Hey, it's been awhile! So glad you're here! We love it when you stop by, especially while we are still fresh and new! Wow! You should see the crap in your gut down here. You probably better stay close to home today. You know, carrot and I have lots of fiber, unlike those other guys you've been hangin with, which may activate your...umm...potty issues. Sure wish you'd choose better friends. Just sayin'. Anywhoo...just toss back a few more radishes and we'll take care of the rest. Love ya!"

5 Comments:

Trisha said...

You are freakin'(can I use that word-not sure if it's G-rated)hilarious! I totally understand the sugar thing. I cut out caffeine last Fall and now I'm TRYING to cut back on sugar-LIKE candy, cookies, etc. Easier said than done! LOL! Good luck with the chocolate attacks!!

Rachel said...

LOL, Pepsi says Hi!!!!!! you are hilarious!! Our bucket was callin' my name too! That is why I must throw it out today!

Tanner said...

No trick or treaters up here on the mountain so cuts the temptation wwaaaaayyy down. and then the next test was we went to town for groceries on Monday. I kept thinking about how all the Halloween candy would be on sale. Luckily I didn't see any so made it. Course I didn't look for it either!!While in Springerville for the football game Halloween night we witnessed a small town type of trick or treating. Apparently they don't do the neighborhood thing there. There is only one main street in Springerville. The one that goes thru it!! All of the businesses which are in buildings from the 1870's stayed open and that's where the kids did their trick or treating. Restaurants,western stores,feed stores,the movie theatre (1), motels, McDonalds, you name it. We ate in a Mexican food place and got to see them all. They were all escorted by their parents. Yep, nothing like small town America.

Choppzs said...

I totally hear you! I have been indulging in way to much candy since the weekend!

MUST
LEAVE
CANDY
ALONE

lol

Damn Reeses!

Alicia said...

Oh my freakness, between the candy and the potty issues, we must've been separated at birth! Luckily, the kids didn't get too much chocolate, so I could only indulge so much. Although, I did make the mistake of buying a bag of Andes mint pieces to put into some cookies. Well, the bag is gone and the cookies never got made! And yeah, Laffy Taffy's are really good too.

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