Sunday, October 24, 2010
Transitioning is always stressful. We have lots of decisions to make in our house, but no information to make them with. So here we sit, in limbo, waiting to know if we have the job or not before committing to Plan B, which is not all that strong at the moment either. I've had a lot of time to stress over not being able to control the situation, which has led to me getting very sick this week. Lots of stress = weakened immune system = me getting hit with a chest cold and flu-like symptoms that knocked me on my butt. Lots of crying and general malaise.
Today, I forced myself to get up and get the kids to church because Little Man had to read the monthly scripture today in Primary. It required putting forth effort that I really didn't want to put forth when I feel like hammered poo. But I did it for my kid, because that's what moms do, right? My son was magnificent, he read his very long scripture perfectly and he even understood what it meant. Was it worth the effort? Of course. And in return for my willingness to sacrifice my comfort for my son's church participation, I was blessed too.
No, my lungs did not magically open up and expel the foul virus that is making me ill, nor did a bag of money or a job offer drop from the sky. But my eyes did manage to open up and take notice of the beautiful cornflower blue sky laced with wispy white clouds. And my poor, dried out skin took delight in the wonderfully cool breeze that brushed over my arms and gently swept over my face as it hurried toward the trees to tickle their branches and leaves. My nose breathed it in deeply and despite a few hacks and coughs, the crisp, clean air filled my lungs and I felt renewed and refreshed for a few moments. My mind instantly recognized the signs of fall and my soul truly jumped for joy at the realization that the brutal heat of summer is finally gone. We have officially survived another hellish Arizona summer! And just like that, I had one less thing to stress about. Deep breath (cough, hack, cough) and sigh. My shoulders just relaxed a little.
As I write this, I am sitting by the open window, not hearing the constant drone of the air conditioning unit. Instead, I hear my boys laugh, play, giggle and yell while they take in all the neighborhood has to offer a couple of active boys who have been cooped up for 3 months by the intense summer sun. The cooler weather has lifted their spirits too. They frolic and kick like spirited colts running through fields of perfect, green alfalfa, but instead of whinnies and neighs, I hear laser and machine gun sound effects and instead of alfalfa, the frolicking takes place in the dirt fort next to our house. No matter...as long as they are happy. I love that I can hear them so clearly - their plots, their dreams, their gross boy humor. I remember having a few great play days like this when I was kid. You know them...those days when everything and everyone from the neighborhood comes together in perfect harmony to create the ultimate perfect day; great weather, good friends, awesome snacks, no arguing, no hurt feelings, no bike wrecks...just pure, unadulterated fun that you never want to end. Suddenly I am aware that my chest feels a little less tight and I realize that I have pretty good, generally happy, well-adjusted kids. And with that realization comes one more release...Now I have two less thing to stress about. Is there nothing more healing to a sick mom's heart and mind than the laughter of her happy kids?
So I thought I'd take a minute to make sure I got this day down in writing. The day that I remembered what fall feels like in the desert. The day I remembered a few good days from my childood. The day I remembered to enjoy my kids. The day I remembered that hard times (or excessive heat) don't last forever. The day that I was reminded that there are so many good things in the world to think about and enjoy as we struggle through our trials and tribulations. It's been a good day to just sit and remember.