Friday, May 13, 2011

I Am Still Here...Albeit A Little Worse for Wear These Days

It's been so long since I posted about myself and my family that I have almost forgotten how to blog!  Don't get me wrong, I love doing the product reveiws and giveaways, but lately I'm feeling like I need to get back to basics with my posts and really focus on chronicling the adventures of Boymom and family.  That's because I have completely lost control of my life.  I feel like I am careening through the days at 1000 miles an hour and everything around me is just a giant blur that I see out of the corner of my eye.  My only goal these days is to keep myself from crashing into oncoming issues!   How did I get to this place? 

Well, work is one of the contributing factors.  As a former stay-at-home mom, I had forgotten what a time suck a job can be.  How the heck do women do this?  Work and raise a family, I mean?  I have always admired and stood in awe of single parents and the way they juggle work life with the demands of raising a family.   I have help at home ( theory) and still can't seem to manage the hectic schedules of 2 boys and 2 adults and a job!  I so get the whole "do what you love and then it doesn't feel like work" thing now.  Suddenly being at home with my family doesn't feel like work anymore.  Now I just have to figure out how to make my job not feel like work anymore.   

I have many other theories as to why I am so lost these days.  One of them relates to age and being an "older parent." As a person who didn't start my family until I was in my mid thirties, I now find myself in the over 45 category of moms who are still raising pre-teens.  It's kind of exhausting.  From an energy standpoint, it is so much smarter to have kids when you're in your early twenties.  There's still an abundance of excess fuel to burn at that age!  I use to think I had a lot more wisdom and patience than younger parents.  Now I know that no matter how much you think you know?  Raising kids will prove you know nothing and that your resevoir of patience is FAR from endless.  Those realizations have left me wandering around these days wondering how the heck any of us are going to survive until the boys get out on their own.

Then there's the inability to concentrate that seems to plague me lately.  Is there such a thing as Adult Onset ADD?  Oh, that's's called perimenopause.  And I hate it.  I'm not one of those women that embraces all of my womanly-ness when it comes to this hormonal crap.  I'm ready to be done with this so I can get back to being a normal, functional human being that can multi-task and remember something for longer than a minute.

Kids, work, getting older and the state of the world in general have left me feeling a bit discombobulated and disconnected.  Am I the only one who feels like we are in some kind of weird "speed-life" relay race or something?  Cause honestly?  If it is a race?  I really don't care about getting to the finish line first anymore.  I just want to finish the thing somewhat intact and coherent, with a few good memories to take home as a consulation prize.


Cynthia said...

"Raising kids will prove you know nothing" Funny and so true. And raising girls of a certain age will prove that you know nothing about fashion, make-up, or style of any kind. (or so they will try to tell you). Self esteem takes a pummeling for a while. Then they grow up and realize you are ok, and kind of smart after all!
Hang in there!

Miss Hope said...

I'm a truly crazy one over here. My oldest will be a senior this upcoming school year and my baby is going into 2nd grade. What was I thinking? I'm going to be all grandma looking at my son's graduation in 10 years!! The best we can do is tie a knot in the end of the rope and hang on, sister!

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