Recap of October

October was a weird, busy month. So much so that I forgot to take pictures on Halloween. Mostly because for 7 days before Halloween I was dealing with this lovely gift from some unknown bacteria or virus:

Yes, that is Little Man, covered in some kind of Jungle Fungus that he picked up gosh knows where, probably because he touched some dead thing laying on the side of the road. We honestly don't know where it came from and 3 weeks later it has finally disappeared. Even the doctor didn't know what caused it, but somehow she knew it wasn't an allergic reaction and that it wasn't contageous? Not sure how that works, but I guess that's why I'm not a doctor, right?

Prior to the Voodoo Body Rot setting in, we were busy with Scout stuff. Big Brother was excited to get some awards for his scouting efforts, as was his friend. Friend rides with us to Scouts a lot. Friend is a carbon copy of Big Brother, personality wise. They sit in the back and just rattle on and on about how much they each know about whatever the subject for the night is and are completely happy to be in each other's company. Friend is a cool kid.

It was also Build-a-Rocket thing night at Pack Meeting and Big Brother had a killer rocket. He got smart this year and used decals instead of trying to hand paint his rig. Of course I have no picture right now, because I was busy winding the rubber band that spins the propeller that makes the rocket travel really fast down the string. 100 winds for every run he made. Trying not to lose count when someone started talking to me. Which was about every two minutes. Apparently everyone had a lot to say that night.

Anyway...here's a pic of someone else's rocket that I managed to take before I got busy winding:

When I find my camera again I will take a pic of our rocket, with the cool flame decals. Really what I am doing here? Is avoiding giving you the outcome of the night. Because it didn't end well. And it was my fault. Which is why Big Brother's dad should have gone. Because then we either wouldn't have had the bad ending or it could have been his fault, which I would have gladly written about and in fact, would have mentioned at the very beginning of the post. As it stands, though, Mom messed up the night. Because they were having parents hold the rockets at the starting line instead of the kids, to avoid potential conflicts with kids trying to inch forward, etc. So here's where our wonderful Scout night all went horribly wrong. Big Brother made it to the final heat. It was down to him and his competitor and whoever won that heat would race the leader for the title. Big Brother has NEVER won a Scouting racing event. Not with cars or boats, and now not with rockets. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I had been watching all of the dads there as they were releasing the rockets and noticed that the way they were holding the rockets to keep the rubber bands from unwinding too soon hindered their abilitiy to release the rocket quickly. So when it was time for our finals, I got up to the string, hung BB's rocket and gently held each side of the propeller with my forefingers and thumbs, instead of holding the entire rocket with one hand and the propeller with the other. Are you foloowing me? I know, this is really technical stuff.

Anyway, many of the dads noted my new holding position and were impressed. So I'm waiting for the competitor to get lined up and gladly, he had NOT noticed my technique. I'm thinking we got this one. But the dude took FOREVER to get ready. By the time he was ready, I heard the countdown, but had been falsely lulled into a relaxed state of mind waiting for this Yahoo! When the starter said go, I hesitated. I missed the release. I KNOW! He set me up! My kid was devastated. I was stunned.

Big Brother looked at me like I was the most evil creature on the planet, gently took his rocket and then stomped out of the gym. On my way out I noticed the final round was getting ready to go...the winner? Used my technique. See? I knew it was good.

So mom lost the night. It was a bummer. They gave out the ribbons, Big Brother was trying to get over his hate toward me when they announced root beer floats. Thank Freaking Gosh for Root Beer Floats! Big Brother let his frustration go and got happier with every mouthful of creamy carbonation and I was temporarily forgiven.

Lesson learned? Scout Dads are competitive and sneaky and will do whatever it takes to win so you always have to be on high alert when you are around them so you are not lulled into a sense of apathy. KIDDING! Scout parents are awesome, it was a fun night. Real lesson learned? My son still struggles with losing and a great technique only works if you PAY ATTENTION! Oh yeah...and ice cream fixes almost anything.

Big Brother Rocks Out Loud

Everyone always tells me to quit apologizing so much. It's a hard habit to break. And I am wondering if me apologizing about the last few blogs not being very interesting is worse than just owning the fact that my blogs are not filled with mirth and humor this week. I mean, I started this as a way to kind of chronicle our lives, but then I feel an obligation to try to keep things upbeat and interesting to read, because I appreciate bloggers who do that for me. On the other hand, I also appreciate bloggers who aren't afraid to be human and honest and candid about their life experiences. It makes me feel normal to see other people do stupid or hard or scary things too. So now I don't know what to do other than to let you all know that I know that I need to lighten up a little after this post. And I will. After this post. 'Cause I really need to say what I gotta say in this post. Then I'll lighten up. After.this.post.

What a hard week for Big Brother. I "heart" this kid so much and it has absolutely gutted me to watch him struggle this week! He's trying so hard to measure up and at every turn his efforts just get smashed! And I am partly to blame for some of his trouble this week. You know what though? This story has a happy ending, so keep reading!

First...Cub Scout Pack Meeting Fiasco:
My kid has worked his butt off the last 6 months trying to finish his Cub Scout achievements and earn his awards and belt loops. We changed leaders a couple of times in the last 6-8 months, so he never has gotten the awards he has earned and we keep getting told, "Next pack meeting."

We are trying to finish his Wolf before he turns 9, when he moves to Bears, which will be in 2 weeks. So, he busts his butt, and we finish all but 3 achivements, plus some Arrow points. I send ALL of this information to the new Den Mom, in detail, so she knows exactly what he has and hasn't done. Did I say "In Detail?" Yes...I did. My notes were very self-explanatory and complete. Detailed notes. No confusion there, right?

We get to the pack meeting last night and she tells me she had some questions about what I sent, so she didn't pick up his stuff. So then why didn't she just call me???!! Right?

"What questions?" I am wondering.

She asks, "Did he complete every letter in each achievement?"

Ummm, yes. See where I typed the words "Big Brother completed each alphabetically lettered subsection of every achievement listed here?"

"Oh, well I wasn't clear on that because some achievements have more lettered subsections than others."

I repeat the words, "Big Brother completed each alphabetical letter of every achievement listed here."

Then she tells me he'll have to wait 'til September, because there is no Pack meeting in August due to Scout Day Camp and asks if that is a problem. Seriously??!!? Ummmm...YES!!! I won't go into detail, but I let her know it was unacceptable, that my dear son will be severely disappointed and that she should have called me if there was a problem. She looked at me and walked away. The pack meeting proceeds and almost every child there received an award. My son and another kid in his Pack did not. The other kid was gone all summer and had not earned any awards. Needless to say, Big Brother was heartbroken.

I was furious with her for not letting me know in advance so that I could have either picked up the awards myself or at the very least, prepared him for the disappointment so that he didn't have to deal with his feelings in front of everyone. She did not even acknowledge him. We left early, with him in tears. His Scout leader was furious and offered to give him something he had in his pocket (that just sounds bad, doesn't it? But he's a super good guy, I'm sure it was like a knife or a compass or a knot tying kit or something Scouty!), but my son was so upset he just ran to the car. We talked all the way home about how sometimes things don't happen the way we want them to and we have to learn to deal with disappointment, but honestly, I was almost in tears myself.

Why was this such an issue? Well, besides the obvious hurt feelings, my sweet son was going to receive even more bad news after Scouts, which is why I really needed Pack Meeting to be a good experience, to help counteract the following event -

Changes at School.

The kids started school on Monday of this week. Big Brother has been in 4th grade now for 2 days at this point. We decided to hold Big Brother back this year and put him back through 3rd grade. I know...GROAN!!! I have been wanting to hold him back since 1st grade and every year the administrations at the schools would talk me out of it. I know my son. I was having to push and pull and drag him through his entire school experience, day after day. He's young, he started school the day he turned 5 and it's been a struggle from halfway through 1st grade til now. He needs the time to mature, socially and academically, before he takes on more challenge. I know my son!! I have thought about this long and hard and I know my son will do better if he is not rushed through his academic career. I don't want to have to drag him through life. I want him to learn to drag himself through life!

Anyway, Big Man and I discussed it at length, I was very worried over how Big Brother would deal with it. The school was very open to listening to my concerns, they addressed the issue with me and when all was said and done, they paved the way and had everything ready and in place for him in 2 days. I have NEVER had such cooperation from a school in my life! They were great last year about dealing with some of his issues, getting him extra help where he needed it. No questions, they just did it. Then, 2 days into this year, they step up for us again.

So Tuesday night, after Scouts, we had to break the news to him, having just found out ourselves at 5 that night that the school was ready for him to make the move, 2 days into his new school year. An important note here: this is the first year he has been at a school for more than 1 grade, we have moved a lot and he has attended a different school every year since he started Kindergarten. He was excited to have friends in his class and see his other friends at recess.

So we give him the news. He looks at me with the saddest face I have ever seen and just sobs..."What about my friends? I finally have friends that I love from last year!" I felt like someone roundhouse kicked me in the heart and the gut at the same time. My emotions went all Chuck Norris on me. How can I do this to him? I wasn't sure I could now and was on the verge of tears myself. My poor child has just had 2 major (major to HIM) life events go bad on him and I didn't know if either one of us could deal with the disappointment.

So we talked and talked and talked some more and then we prayed, because I didn't know what else to do. We prayed as a family, then Big Brother prayed some more. His prayer was so heartfelt and sincere, I could not believe for a second that a loving Heavenly Father could not answer it. After all of the talking was done and we had worked through the situation with him, he said he would give it a try. He cried for a few more moments, then stopped. Throwing his arms around my neck, he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me and that he felt so much love right now that he thought he would be okay.

Dad tucked him in and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I woke up the next morning, sobbing. I quit long enough to get him to school, his new 3rd grade teacher had his desk ready and scooped him up with a big hug and welcomed him to class. His 4th grade teacher asked me to request her for next year so that he could feel welcome in her class again. (She has cancer...I pray she recovers and is still there next year!) I got in the car and sobbed all the way home and then sobbed for 2 more hours after that.

I went back to school to pick them up, puffy-eyed and weary, but hopeful. Big Brother came running out with a cupcake (someone's birthday!) and started telling me about all of his new friends in 3rd grade and a few old friends from 4th grade who asked where he was (he told them he switched classes, nobody asked anymore questions and they all moved on to talking about Star Wars. Boys! Where's the processing, the emotion?).

I was worried and sobbing for 2 days...he was fine! He is fine. He is a kind, loving, brave, courageous boy who gives me strength and makes me want to try harder to be a better mother for him every day. And I love his guts for showing me how to handle disappointment and change in our lives. Big Brother Rocks Out Loud!!