Blackie Chan has Issues

Remember my cat? Blackie Chan? The Ninja Feline with cat-like reflexes? Blackie Chan has issues. We are in discussions now regarding his issues. One of those issues is his desire to ummm...love stuffed animals. It made Little Man mad that the cat was trying to "have babies" with Little Man's "Bunkey." He's old enough now (the cat, not Little Man!) to go see the vet for removal of his manhood. I'm wondering how it will affect Blackie Chan's ninja moves. We may have to change his name.

Blackie Chan also has breathing issues. He wakes my boys up sometimes because he breathes so loud! I think he may have chronic sinusitus. Or asthma. I have never heard a cat breathe so loud. It's like irritating loud.

He talks to us alot. When he doesn't know where we are in the house he walks around making these little conversational mews. When you call him he talks back. When you pet him he talks and purrs. He's very vocal. Just like everyone else in the house. It's cute. Until 5 am in the morning when he's ready for everyone to wake up and wants to be in our room. Then it's just irritating and rude.

Then there is the whole litter box thing. Blackie Chan has the toilet habits of a pig. He's the worst! I already have 3 men with poor aim to clean up after, I don't need another! I thought this came natural to cats! It's not that he misses the box, he just flings the litter all over trying to cover up his mess. Like ALL OVER! Not just a few tiny pieces, like PAWFULS! And he must pee like 8,000 times a day. I'm sure the vet will have something to say about that. Something that will cost me lots of money.

My kids just wanted a pet. I ended up getting a horny, talkative, psycho-ninja cat with asthma and an over-active bladder. Now that I think about it, he fits in to this dysfunctional home just fine.