I'll be Reading You...

Blogs do funny things to people. I have been really busy the last few weeks and have been feeling guilty for the last few days about the fact that I am behind on my blog reading. I don't want my blog friends to think that I am lazy or that I have forgotten them or that I am some kind of lame fly-by-night blog buddy. Why am I worrying about reading blogs written by people that I don't know?! Seems kind of weird to people who don't blog.

But the truth is, I do kind of know these people. They share stuff about their lives on every post. They make comments on my posts and get to know my family, my issues, etc. I get to know them, their kids, their humor. And the truth is, I miss them when I get behind on reading their blogs. And I feel like I am not being a good friend when I get behind. Because real human connections are important to maintain, even when they happen over the internet.

You had me at Hello.

One of the reasons I decided to start a blog was that I want to feel more connected to the world outside my door, my town, my realm of reality. I also wanted to be able to express my thoughts and feelings in a way that others might find interesting and maybe helpful on some level. I guess truth be told, it's my way of trying to be part of something bigger than myself, but still indulge my ego!

At first I kind of freaked out, because I started to find all of these wonderfully creative and funny blogs which were wonderfully designed with all kinds of little doodads and chachkis. Mine felt plain and amateurish and I felt out of touch and kind of inadequate. I used to think I was a pretty creative, funny person. For some reason, I forgot that there are other funny, creative people out there too and now How am I going to shine and stand out in the crowd!?! DANG!!! The doubt and frustration set in and I wondered if this was even worth the effort. Which made me really start to think about what it is I am trying to achieve here by blogging.

In the meantime, while I was all wrapped up in deep thought, I posted a kind of bummer post about feeling lost. Then something happened. Instead of me being the one to offer all of this great, hard-earned wisdom and advice, I have found myself on the receiving end of some really caring and kind words from other Bloggers out there. THIS is why I love the internet. THIS is why I find myself scouring other blogs, looking for a semblance of normalcy in my life by comparing my experiences with others out there who are willing to share theirs. THIS is what I am hoping to achieve by starting mine. I guess I really hope that at some point, someone out there who is struggling will run across my blog and read something that makes them laugh or cry or think or do whatever it is they need to do that day to feel okay and feel like they can cope with one more stupid issue that life hands them. Because that's what so many of you do for me. And for being yourselves, and sharing your experiences and offering words of encouragement, I thank all of you Bloggers and Forum friends out there (gives overzealous hugs...awkward silence). Umm...okay, then. I'll...just go...now.