Old School Christmas Shows and the Flu - It's a Family Tradition

I don't know why I can't seem to get back into a blogging rhythm.  This blog has been such an important part of my life for the last 5 years and it pains me that I have lost touch with what inspired me to start blogging/writing in the first place.  But I don't want to analyze tonight.  I just felt like I needed to give I Am Boymom some post love, so my blog knows I haven't forgotten or abandoned it.  

So...in reference to the title...Christmas in our house is probably not like Christmas in most houses.  Some of that has to do with my upbringing.  We lived with lots of different people and got bounced around a lot.  Consequently, we didn't really get to establish "family traditions" in the normal "Christmas-y" sense.  My husband's family tries with this big family party at his brother's huge house.  It's a tough crowd.  Let's just say they have their own special brand of dysfunction.  Not judging!  Soooo not judging.  Just stating the facts as I see them.  

Back to the point...So even at this late date, as my kids are becoming teenagers, I am still trying to establish some fun and memorable holiday traditions.  I suck at it.  I never know what they will enjoy and I think I try so hard to make things work that I end up being stressed, which makes everyone else in the house stressed and before you know it, everybody's frustrated and no one is having fun and I feel like a failure.  Again. 

Well, tonight it kind of hit me that we do have a few traditions of our own.  They may not be GREAT and WONDERFUL traditions, but by gosh, they are ours and the fact that we have anything at all that we repeat each Christmas is progress.  And maybe my epic FAIL at trying something new tonight is making me lie to myself about whether what we do is indeed a tradition, but at this point, I'll take what I can get. 

First tradition we have is TV.  Not a great tradition, I know.  But at Christmastime it works for us.  We try to catch every Christmas movie or special on TV, starting on Thanksgiving and going through Christmas day.  What we don't catch on TV, we rent.  It was fun when we grew up to watch Rudolph and Frosty and Charlie Brown and it's even more fun to watch them now with my boys, who laugh hysterically at the thought that we found these shows enjoyable when we were kids.  "The graphics suck!"  "Why do they make the adults talk like wierd aliens?"  We try to explain that we didn't have Computer Generated Animation then!  Puppets and stuff were state of the art, dudes!  What I love though, is that no matter how much they yammer on about how "lame" some of our holiday shows were, they always sit down and watch them with us.  We bond over Old School Christmas TV shows. 

Another tradition we have is that we always put together a few stockings full of food and water, soap, razors, snacks, shampoo...little things like that.  Then we find someone in need, maybe someone living on the streets or in a shelter, and the boys offer the stockings.  We've had some amazing conversations after giving our stockings out about charity and how life circumstances can turn on anyone and land them in a position to be in need of help.  The boys understand how important it is not to judge people based on immediate circumstances or appearances. They are compassionate young men who have empathy for others and they look forward to giving their stockings to people every year.  I'm glad they have the chance to serve and share with others who are struggling even more than we are.  It's good to see the world from another perspective once in awhile.  I hope this tradition is something they will carry on when they leave our home.

The last tradition we have is not one we choose, but one that seems to get thrust upon us almost every year.  It's a really crappy tradition, literally and figuratively, but the one thing it does is force us to slow down a bit and regroup during the hectic season.  For whatever reason, someone always ends up sick with flu or a horrible cold during Christmas!  It makes me crazy!  One year my husband woke up on Christmas Day unable to move his head or neck and in excruciating pain after he stretched!  He stretched, people!  Didn't know you couldn't do that on Christmas morn without repercussions! 

Being sick makes whoever is sick cranky.  Christmas isn't a time for crankiness!  We are supposed to be happy and focused on family and giving and the spirit of the holidays!  Instead, someone is sneezing and hacking or pooping and puking and downing Nyquil or Thera-flu by the gallon trying to be functional for all the events. No one can enjoy the dysfunctional family Christmas party when they feel like crap!  It's hard enough to enjoy it when we are well!  But like I said, the one thing it does is force us to slow down and prioritize.  Do we really need to attend 8,000 Christmas events?  Do we really need 100 homemade, hand decorated sugar cookies or can we be happy with refrigerated, store bought cookie dough and sprinkles this year?  It compels us to take better care of each other in a season where we talk of Christ and try to focus on the "reason for the season."  It brings us closer to one another as we serve and nurture each other. So while we would not necessarily choose the "Christmas illness" tradition?  We have learned to live with it and it has kind of just become part of the Holiday tapestry we are trying to weave.  Weird, I know.  But it's something, and as far as traditions go, isn't something better than nothing?

So that is my recap of our family traditions.  Not great, but we have forward motion.  And as I'm writing this, I remember that I had a whole other, much shorter post planned.  Pictures showing the results of my attempt at Christmas Craft night.  And when you see it, you will know why I started this post by trying to convince myself that we are making "tradition" progress and why I don't always have the gumption to push forward with finding new ones:

My oldest, who deals with fine motor skill issues and absolutely hates crafts, put this bad boy together with some pipe cleaners and a foam ball.  I know.  A cat with tape on its paws could do something nicer.  I had a picture for him to look at, but after about 10 minutes he was bored and thoroughly frustrated.  This from a kid who will spend hours precisely placing army guys in formations for battles.

 

This is one of those scratchy things that starts out all black and then you scratch designs in the back to reveal the colors.  My youngest started a design then decided it was taking too long and scratched off the entire black cover and then walked away from the little pile of black shavings that were all over his work space, declaring he was done and "by done, I mean I'm going to bed.  I don't feel good again."  In his defense, he has been home sick with some kind of stomach issue for 3 days (maybe the illness portion of the holiday came early this year and we can relax and enjoy the next few weeks).

This would have been a really cool ornament cover had I actually been able to sit down and do some beading, but the sick kid and the bored kid finished so fast that I had to give it up and mediate the fussiness that ensued.  I called it a Christmas Craft Night FAIL at 8:30 and everyone went to bed.  

Maybe we'll try Craft Night again next year.  Or maybe not.  Maybe we'll just watch National Lampoon's Christmas vacation, drink some cocoa and call it good.  And we'll have "the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny freak-ing Kay!"  Clark Griswold understands my pain.

Charity Never Faileth...My Holiday Post

Well, another year is coming to an end and I have to say it has been a pretty traumatic year for my family and me.  To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to Christmas.  I didn't even bother to go out to the garage to dig my tree out until December 16th, because it just didn't seem like we could celebrate the season with any kind of joy.  Then I realized that my kids needed to feel something from their parents besides intense stress.  So I forced myself to set up the tree and to decorate the house a little.

It took a few days of looking at an empty tree for me to find my Christmas spirit.  Once the Holiday Fever finally made its way through the doom and gloom and depression I have been feeling lately, I was able to embrace it and use it to help shoo away the fog of unemployment and financial struggles that has plagued us for a while now.  It was nice to have something to look forward to.  More importantly, it was nice for my boys to have something to look forward to. 

Honestly, this has been the most difficult Christmas I have ever faced in my life.  The move we made to our new state was supposed to be a fresh start.  Instead, it has turned into something akin to a modern day Grapes of Wrath story.  The joy and excitement we felt when we landed here was quickly replaced by fear as our best laid plans fell apart in front of our eyes.  Despite the rough start, we have held out hope that we could make it in this unique, homey town if fate would just give us a break and a fair shot at building a life here. Five months later, we are still struggling.  And wondering if we are complete idiots for daring to make such a big life change.  I'm sure there are a few of our family and friends who have already made that assessment and are wondering what has taken us so long to come to the same conclusion. 

The thing is...I still believe with all of my heart that moving here was the right thing for my family.  For six months before we came here, there was not a day that went by that my heart and mind didn't tell me that my family would thrive in this new environment.  My spirit spoke to me in dreams and in prayers and everytime I tried to look at a different spot on the map as a relocation possibility, my inner being would all but scream that I needed to quit trying to avoid what I already knew.  How do you ignore those kinds of thoughts and feelings and persisitent naggings?!  I don't know about you, but I can't.  Every good decision I have ever made in my life has come at the end of a long struggle with me trying to ignore and push away a force I could not explain, then ultimately giving in and accepting the message the universe was trying to send.   So it made sense to me to finally quit fighting this path too.  And when I quit fighting and accepted the possibility that the change might be good, things kind fo fell in place for us to make the move.  I truly thought we were on the right track.

My husband felt okay about the move too, but he was much more reserved in his enthusiasm.  He is no longer behind me on this one.  He is struggling.  He doesn't hate here, but so far he isn't finding a lot to love.  In his defense, he is not good with change.  I knew that about him, but hoped his desire to leave our old home state would be strong enough to help him overcome his fears.  Of course, it didn't help that he was lied to about the job he was supposed to start upon our arrival.  Having that rug yanked out from under him while he was trying to settle in a new place with his family left him unsettled and angry.  Who tells a guy he has a job, knowing he's relocating his family and then changes his mind without calling to tell anyone?  It doesn't matter anymore.  We are here and we have decided to try to make it work.  We just thought we would have things working before Christmas. Which is where I started this post a few thousand words ago.

Making it work here has truly been the fight of our lives.  So we were not spiritually or mentally prepared for Christmas.  Nor were we financially prepared.  Gainful employment is hard to find here...not for lack of trying though.  Big Man is working, but at a minimum wage job that is far beneath his capabilities and with earnings that are far below what we need to survive.  We had no money for gifts for the kids.  But we had a long talk with them about making sacrifices and we really tried hard, once we finally got our minds and hearts where they needed to be, to focus on the reason we celebrate Christmas and the birth of Christ.  The kids were doing okay with the fact that Christmas was going to be very low-key this year.  Then the miracles started happening. 

Our church family quickly rallied around us, offering rides to Scouts, sending job leads, doing what they can to help us feel like we are part of the community.  As Christmas approached, we were surprised by a Secret Santa this year who did the 12 Days of Christmas.  The boys tried hard to catch them each night as they left a fun treat at the door and it inspired them to look for a way to give to someone else instead of focusing on their own desires.  We were able to share an unopened toy from one of my product reviews with someone whose boys will love the gift and my kids were overjoyed that they were able to brighten someone else's holiday.  Then...we had another Secret Santa!  I know!!  They came bearing bikes, coats and much needed shoes, with the request that we not tell our boys the gifts came from them, but from us.   I don't know how they even knew about our situation.  Their generosity left me in tears.  THEN...another Not So Secret Santa showed up at our door on Christmas Eve with boxes of food and gifts that left me beyond speechless!  More tears (actually it was the out and out sobbing, blubbering, ugly kind of crying), more amazement and more wondering why we were found worthy to be on the recieving end of such kindness from people we barely know.  THEN...little surprises in the mail came as relatives sent cards filled with checks and gift cards to help us with our other needs.  I have never been so grateful and felt so humbled in my entire life.  

Even still, I sit here crying.  I had been praying for miracles, expecting a job to come through, I guess.  What I received instead was an amazing lesson about humility and gratitude that I will never, ever forget.  My fear and sense of hopelessness was replaced with a renewed belief, that despite all our differences, mankind is generally, inherently good.  And that when given the opportunity, people will look for ways to be charitable and care for their friends and neighbors.  Seeing this side of our new community has shown me that I chose the right place to raise my family.  How could we NOT want to be part of a place that values and actually practices these kinds of charitable acts? 

Thank you, friends, family and people of Boise for giving my family one of the most unforgettable Christmas' we will ever have.  Charity is the true love of Christ...we truly felt the sprit of love and service at work in our lives this season.  Merry Christmas.