Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming...

Watching the kids swim. Not something I love to do in 114 degree weather, but I was tired of hearing them argue and fight.  So I sat in the shade while they worked out their aggressions in the water. Playing with my new phone, which was free.  Remind me to tell you the phone story...it is an awesome story. Seriously.  It's good.

Back to the swimming.  Do you remember swimming as a kid?  I do.  It was one of those activities that could change the course of your entire day.  Too hot to play?  Let's go swimming.  Friend was mean to you?  Let's go swimming.  Bad haircut?  Let's go swimming.  Your a pre-teen or maybe a barely teen girl and you just started your monthly?  Let's...not go there.  That was one thing swimming couldn't fix.  That just flat out sucked.  But I don't have girls, which is probably good.  Can't hardly deal with my own girly crap, let alone someone else's. But enough of the hormonal talk.

 

Back to swimming.  Remember the smell of chlorine as you rushed over to the edge of the pool?  The sun glinting off the water, right into your eye, temporary blinding you to the beautiful blue color of the liquid coolness that awaited you?  Right about that time was when you would realize that your feet were being fried on the cool deck, so you had to either jump in or quickly splash some water onto the deck under your feet.  Either way, relief from heat and boredom was just a dive or a jump away.  And the minute you hit the surface and the water engulfed you?  Life just got better. 

Mostly.  Except for that one time when you jumped in and the pressure from the impact of the water pushed your swimsuit top up over your boobs, mostly because you didn't have much of a chest yet.  None of this would have been too big of a deal, except maybe you didn't notice the top thing when you came up out of the water, because you were so focused on how great the water felt.  And while you are standing there wringing your hair out and getting it out of your eyes, you begin to realize that some of the kids, expecially the boys, are pointing and laughing.  Then you feel a slight breeze and HOLY FREAKING COW! your top isn't where it's supposed to be and even though you yank it down as quickly as you can it's too late - the boys have seen you in all your glory (not much glory at the time) and now the course of your day has changed...again.  Remember sinking back into the water and trying to get lost in the crowd?  Remember thinking that the person who had the idea to go swimming suddenly seems like an idiot?  Remember that?  Ummm...me neither.  Much.  It's only an occasional flashback now.  

  

So I'm watching my boys and remembering my summer days at the pool.  Wondering what kinds of things they will remember about swimming when they are my age.  Hopefully their memories will be of friends and splashing and general water frivolity.  Or maybe they'll think of the sacrifices their mom makes for them, wilting in the heat while I sit poolside because I'm unwilling to see myself in a swimsuit, much less wear one in public! Which I would blame on childbirth, but I was fat before I had them.  But I digress. 

Back to swimming.  Maybe, just maybe, they'll sit and chat about that one time they saw that girl come up out of the water with no swimsuit top...at which point I will have to kaibosh the conversation.  They'll think it's because I think the topic is inappropriate.  I won't tell them it's because I have war memories.    

Why I am NOT a Doctor

So I've had problems the last few years with my gall bladder and have to kind of watch what I eat...nothing really greasy or cheesy. I do okay for about three weeks, until my hubby brings home pizza and then all bets are off and I just know that the next day I will pay for it. I know...stupid. I do a lot of stupid things when it comes to food, which is why I am still fat after 30 years of trying to lose weight.

Anywhoo...a few days ago, I felt the familiar ache under my ribs that usually means my gall bladder is acting up, so I went to Sprouts and bought a huge gallon of organic, non-filtered apple juice and a boatload of radishes and some green apples, all of which are supposed to flush the heck of my gall bladder and then I'm usually good for 6 months or so. By the way, not the greatest taste combination, those 3 things.

On the second day of apple juice, I notice the pain is getting worse and I was eliminating (you know...eliminating!) a LOT of weird stuff. OH YEAH! I forgot to mention that while all of this is happening I am also suffering from the mother of all pollen induced cold/flu attacks that goes around this time of year here in Phoenix when the desert starts to bloom. So I can't breathe, my glands are swollen, my throat is scratchy and dry and I am coughing so hard it makes me pee. And I completely lost my voice from the headlock the phlegm has my vocal cords wrapped in. Not asking for sympathy, just giving you a clear picture of exactly how miserable I am before the side ache thing. Are ya feelin' it with me yet? Okay.

So today is the third day and I wake up tired and grumpy from lack of sleep, because of my stuffed up nose that, although stuffed, was running like a hose and my achy side. I figured I would kill what was left of the apple juice and see what happened. I slugged down a huge glass, and about 2 hours later I was seriously wondering if I was gonna have to go to Urgent Care.

My friend came over and I was telling her about it and she asked if maybe it was my kidneys and not my gall bladder. That made me think. Hmmm...last time I had a kidney attack about 20 years ago it kind of started like this.

A few minutes later hubby came home and I was talking to him and he asked the same thing. Then he asked me when the last time was that I drank any water. "

Ummm...about 3 days ago. I've been driniking apple juice for 3 days."

"And before that?" he asks.

"Not very much, I've kinda not been eating or drinking much at all this week because of the cold thing and then I started the juice."

Apple juice, my husband informs me is VERY hard on the kidneys if your kidneys are unhealthy or if your kidneys are suffering from dehydration. Because it helps flush them. And if there is no water to help flush them the kidneys have to work extra hard and they get all mad trying to process this unfiltered apple juice, which is VERY cleansing.

Then he orders me to go drink about 8 gallons of water. I filled up a Big Gulp Bucket and started sipping, then gulping and within 15 minutes, the pain lessened. I kind of wasn't sure if it was coincidence, so I did some Googling to check on apple juice and kidneys. After another 44 ounce cup of water and some walking around, still less pain. Another bucket of water and 3 hours later, I think I am going to live.

But DANG IT! I hate when he's right!