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Saturday, June 28, 2008

My Son, the Englishman

I was reading a blog post, then left a comment, read another comment that someone else left and clicked on the link to read that person's blog. After doing this 2 or 3times, I ran across a blog post that struck a chord. Only I lost the blog! I wanted to link it to this post so the blogger who wrote it would know she wasn't the only mom who misses things in her kids' lives that she should have caught. I told her I would post about my "Bad Mommy" incident so she could laugh at my idiocy. I hope she tracks me down and I hope all of you will feel inclined to share your "Bad Mommy" stories so we can all laugh and remember that we are not perfect and that kids are prone to exaggeration, which means we don't always take what they say seriously (phew...long sentence). Doesn't mean we're bad moms, just means we have a lot on our plates and if our kids wouldn't whine and fake crap so often, maybe we'd pay attention the first time!

Okay...on to my own stupid incident, which I like to chalk up to being a first time mom. It makes me feel better, okay?

My oldest son, Big Brother, is a really docile kid. Especially when he was a little guy, he was so calm and happy and just a joy! And he talked a lot. And it was just deliciously cute. He said the funniest things. He heard his dad yodeling (or trying to) one day and for weeks after that he would walk around going "doodle-deeedle, doodle-doo...it was freaking awesome and of course I thought he was a gall-darn genius.

Sooooo....one day he walks in and starts asking "Where's Daddy?" with this funny little English sounding accent. Immediately I was like, "Oh my gosh! That is so cute! Say it again!" So he asks again, "Where's Daddy?" with the cute little english accent and I'm thinking my kid is just a whiz and how many flippin' 2 year olds know how to speak with an English accent, helllooooo!!??

For the next few hours I listen to baby Hugh Grant babbling, then call Dad and tell him to listen and Dad is completely enthralled with his brilliant son. Dad comes home, we listen some more, we beam at him, we beam at each other...our son is so talented! Big Brother is just as happy with his accent and we all go to bed. Next day, same thing and I am just reveling in the geniusness that is my 2 year old son, calling everybody I know to tell them about the child prodigy (prodigy of what?? Accents?).

Then, about 3 pm I notice that Big Brother is having a hard time with his water. I look at him and he is swallowing weird, like he can't quite get it down. And he makes this face...EVERY TIME HE SWALLOWS! After pondering this whole scene for a moment, it hits me...Oh my heck! His throat hurts! He isn't talking this way because he's a genius, he's talking this way because his freakin' throat hurts so bad he can't swallow, or apparently talk, without pain! AAAAAUUUUGGGHHH! I run for the flashlight, crank open his mouth and sure enough, his tonsils are almost touching, flaming red, swollen with white pus pockets. His accent is the result of strep, that he's had for at LEAST 2 days. I started crying. He's looking at me and wondering what the fetch is wrong with Mommy and starts crying too.

I call the doctor's office, the nurse is trying not to laugh and makes me feel just a tiny bit better, but not much. She gets us in within the hour, they are 5 minutes from our house. The doctor thought it was hilarious and tried to get him to talk so he could hear the accent, but by that point Big Brother had a fever and had very little desire to channel Hugh Grant, or any other bloody Englishman, for that matter. Three hours later I had him on antibiotics, and in two days he was on the mend. But I was traumatized for weeks over the whole ordeal. He seemed fine after he recovered, but the English accents have yet to make an appearance in our home again. War memories, I guess.

11 Comments:

Kristi said...

Ya know, we all have our stories. This one is a hard one because he was showing no outward signs of having strep throat. He wasnt at your feet crying. I would have thought the same thing. I remember a time when my son was about 18 months, and it was the middle of the night, and he woke up crying, I went in and checked and he was fine, so I let him cry it out. I was getting so angry. I hate to even admit, but like 45 minutes went by before I went back in. By then, he was hysterical, and he had a raging fever, and ended up having a double ear infection. He immediately stopped crying, and he fell asleep on my shoulder. I felt HORRIBLE, and it is amazing that even to this day, I remember that time and feel so awful, and it was 7 years ago. WE as mothers beat ourselves up. It's a rough job I tell ya.

Not Just Any Jen said...

Oh my goodness. The English accent is cracking me up, but poor little guy.

Well, I just posted about my daughter cutting off her hair while and my three yo climbing in the crib with the sleeping baby for a "sleepover" all while I tried to watch a movie. Guess this counts, but if you want something original and BAD BAD Mommy. Not proud, but here goes.

The gist is I drop my daughter off at the curb for preschool, but have to get her out of her carseat. So I put the car in park( still running at the curb), but she is resistant and I end up walking her to the door. When I get back to the car, the then 2 yo was in the front seat "driving." I had never buckled him into his seat that day-then left him alone in a running car. Thank God all is okay- but BAD MOMMY!

I am Boymom said...

Kristi - I totally agree, we Do beat ourselves up, my husband didn't even remember the English accent thing until I reminded him today! HE was not traumatized, why was I? Whatever. Thank gosh kids are so forgiving and have short term memories!

Jen - Wow! Thanks for sharing! That must have been so scary! And the little guy driving was completely oblivious to what was going on around him, right? Maybe that was a blessing. Not BAD MOMMY...more like frazzled, overworked, taking on too much mommy is my guess! By the way, the new haircut is really cute, I just looked at it again. Too funny!

Queen of Chaos said...

I haven't laughed and cried this hard in so long! Thank you, 'bad momy'! hahahahahahaha

I have so many stories like these I could have a seperate blog. hehe

]This is too funny, Geri...thank you from the bottom of my laughing heart! :)

Law said...

I never exaggerated as a child at all.

AHHH, WOLF!!!

Laura said...

That is a cute story. Even if it did leave you scarred for life. :)

I am Boymom said...

Hey Law, you probably never spoke with an English accent either, did you! Bwuah ha ha ha!!

Miss Hope said...

Hi there!!!!! I'm the mom with the Drama Queen Teenager who needs glasses. (I refrain from calling her blind because that might offend people...but she's seriously working on it)

I can totally relate to the strep throat deal. Not the English accent..although it would be adorable coming from my Hispanic looking 4 year old.

Thanks for stopping by! I'll surely be back to visit again.

Pikes Pickles said...

Just visiting - This post is So funny. Did you get it on video tape? Man you could be the number viewed video on youtube!

I am Boymom said...

Hope! I am so glad you found the story! Your story brought out some great experiences from all of us guilt plagued moms. We are NOT alone!

Pickles - Sadly, no, I did not get it on video, I wish I would have, it really was sooo funny...until we discovered the problem. But until then...yeah, we thought he was da bomb!

Choppzs said...

I am sorry, but I am laughing my butt off over here! lol

It sounds like when my kid found the snake next to his toy box and I was the one who told him to go play with the toys, and kept saying "yah right, there isn't a snake over there!" So I accused him of lying AND I'm the one that sent him over to the stupid snake! Guilt! lol

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