Here, Home, Hope Book Review

Thanks to One2One Network, I was able to actually sit down and read a book this last week, for the first time in a very long time.  I love reading, it used to sustain me when I was a kid looking for an escape from my weird, dysfunctional life.  I forgot how much I loved the process of getting to know the characters and really trying to put myself into the story. 

Here, Home, Hope is a "chick lit" novel written by Kaira Rouda.  The whole story revolves around main character Kelly Mills Johnson, a stay-at-home mom  living in an up-scale suburban neighborhood called Grandville.  39-year old Kelly has a successful lawyer husband, well-behaved kids and beautiful friends with whom she shares her life, but she finds herself feeling restless and depressed after a breast cancer scare.  When her boys go off to summer camp she finds herself feeling even more lonely and directionless, so  she decides change is in order and embarks on a "Things to Change (T2C)" campaign to improve her life.  The fact that Post-It Notes became part of that campaign immediately caught my attention and made me laugh, because I am seriously THE Post-It Queen. 

As Kelly puts her T2C Plan into motion, she quickly learns that things are seldom as cut and dry as they may seem.  The two perfectly put together, succesful friends she admires so much are not as perfect and put together as she had assumed and have issues of their own that end up becoming issues for Kelly too!   The rest of the book winds its way through Kelly's attempts to make sense of her life and make the changes she needs to make, while dealing with the changes going on in the lives of those around her. 

I read Here, Home, Hope in two days and although I enjoyed the book and definitely  identified with the character's need for growth and fulfillment  as she transitioned from mother of small children to mother of more self-sufficient teens, there were parts of Kelly's life that I could not necessarily come to terms with.  Maybe it was the $300 hair cut and the shopping trip to the high end boutique.  Or the perfect husband who always says and does the right thing at just the right moment.  Or the perfect suburban neighborhood that Kelly describes as her home.  I don't know anyone who lives like that, so that's not real life...to me.  But then again, I 'spose it is real for some people...I just never ran with the "Country Club" crowd, so my version of reality comes from a whole different place.

The book really is a nice, easy read and there was much to enjoy about Kelly's journey to peace and happiness.  I think it does address some very real issues for women.  Trying to be everything to everybody is something with which most of the women I know struggle.  Here, Home, Hope addresses the feelings and frustrations we all feel when we try to bring more joy and fulfillment to our lives.  It also addresses the reality that not everybody deals with their problems the same way, hence marriages end, families fall apart, people inflict pain on themselves and life gets messy.  And as humans, we tend to be judgemental about people's problem solving skills and choices.  I liked the sense of empowerment that author Kaira Rouda tried to bring out in her female characters throughout the storyline.  I loved that the underlying message is one of support and nuturing, rather than criticizing.   And honesly...I loved the T2C Post-Its and Kelly's T2C List.  I have a few T2C's on my walls now.

Here, Home, Hope was a decent, light, quick read that did give me some ideas, some motivation and some hope that I can make the transisitions I need to make in my own life as I struggle to find "my place" in the Universe.  And it reminded me that while I am on my journey, I need to feed and care for my sister friends (T2C #5) without judgement.

Sending lots of love out to all of you who continue to support me as I work through my issues and find my path to fulfillment!

***Disclosure:  I was not compensated for this review and the opinions expressed are my own.  I did recieve a digital copy of Here, Home, Hope from One 2 One Network in order to facilitate this review. ***    

Transitions - Part 1

Along with other life transitions, I am working on a new look for the blog.  It might get kind of crazy around here 'til I figure out which direction I want to take it, so try to hang on while I get it figured out! 

As far as life outside of my blog?

It seems like my life has been in transition for a long, long time now.  I keep trying to evolve to fit my current set of circumstances, but none of the changes I make seem to take hold on a permanent basis.  As I write this, I realize that just being human makes life transitory by nature.  We are always learning and growing and adapting.  But right now?  I'd like to just chill until I can see a clear path. 

This really all relates to stability.  Emotional stability, financial stability, domestic stability...it seems like when I get one of those elements lined out, another one spins out of control.  Some of my instability is due to choices I have made in my life, and some of it has had to do with circumstances and choices that others made on my behalf.  I get that I can't go back and change that.  Finally, I get that.  At this moment I want to create a more stable life going forward, not just for me, but for my kids!  Stability is all I want right now.

So...here I sit, on the precipice of several HUGE life choices.  All of them will directly affect my life and the lives of my children, especially when it comes to our ability to feel safe and comfortable.  For me, it's really hard when financial instability becomes the driving force behind our decision making process because then the process feels frenzied and chaotic and desperate.  It's hard to stay calm when you're backed up against the wall.  Having said that, had we had a Plan B on file in the first place, we probably would have made better choices at the beginning of this trial and could have avoided some of the last minute misery and debate we are dealing with now.  Hindsight, right? 

Now we are facing the inevitable...Do we move to another state and try to start over in a new environment or do we stay put and try to slug it out in a place where both of us have spent what seems like an eternity trying to carve out a niche for ourselves?  My vote?  Stay here.  Which is weird, because we've always talked about the day we can finally move out of Arizona!  But now that I face that possibility, I'm not ready to go.  I'm still trying to decide if my lack of enthusiasm has more to do with the location my husband is leaning toward or having to pack the house up all over again.  Either way, I'm not ready to deal with this change.  I know the demons I face here!  I know the economy (or lack therof), the streets, the politics, the weather, the people...all of the things which I gripe about on a daily basis!   Isn't it ironic how familiarity can sometimes ease the lack of stability of our lives, but that same familiarity also leads us to feel contempt and boredom for our same old surroundings?  We are weird, complex creatures sometimes, that is certain.

All of this comes down to what?  Me being too afraid and tired to try something new.  Before I had kids I probably would have jumped at the chance to see another part of the country.  Now I just want to get where we need to be and stay there.  I want to put down roots and become part of the community and live my life there and know that at last, I am home and I never have to leave.  If I thought for one second that the place my husband wants to move was that place?  I'd be all over it.  But I don't feel that way about his choice.  In fact I work hard everyday to try to imagine life there and I can't. 

So why is it even a consideration?  If I'm not gonna be happy there, why would we even consider it?  Because Big Man has a brother there whom he adores and who brings out all the good and wonderful qualities in the man I married.  Their love for each other is deep and strong and without judgement.  My husband doesn't have kind of relationship with most of his other siblings.  Big Man feels like maybe with his brother's help and support, he can get back on his feet and create a new career path.   More importantly, he feels like he will finally be away from the many people he has grown up with here who seem to always see him as a failure.  His road here has been a tough one, not filled with very many positive experiences.  

So maybe a change is warranted.  Sometimes all one needs to shake old habits and demons is a change of scenery.  Some place to start over again, with a new outlook and new perspective.  Some place where you get to be who you really are, where no one has preconcieved ideas about you based on who you used to be. 

I just wish that place wasn't Florida. 

Movie Review: "Life As We Know It"

Lucky me, I actually got to go on a date with my husband last night, thanks to Mom Central!  We were invited to see a pre-screening of Life As We Know It starring Kathryn Heigl and Josh Duhamel.  I had seen a few commercials for the movie and it looked really entertaining, but you never know until you actually get there if the movie lives up to the hype. 

Well, I'm here to tell you, the movie is really, really funny and touching at the same time.  The basic premise of the movie is this:

"After a disastrous first date, the only thing Holly, an up and coming caterer, and Eric, a network sports director, have in common is their dislike for each other and their love for their goddaughter Sophie. But when they suddenly become all Sophie has in the world, Holly and Eric are forced to put their differences aside and juggle career ambitions and competing social calendars to find some common ground while living under one roof."

First of all, I had to laugh at the whole Holly/Eric relationship, because we all have single friends like those two characters...the ones who irritate each other so badly, but would really be a great couple!?  The casting for those two parts was so dead on! Kathryn Heigl and Josh Duhamel made such a cute couple and they played off each other really well!! 

So Holly (Kathryn Heigl) and Eric (Josh Duhamel) get thrown into the whole parenting thing with no warning and have to figure out how to deal with each other and a child, as well as the loss of their best friends.  As life issues go, definitely not how I would want to start my child-rearing gig.  But as a parent, there was so much about this movie that I could relate to.  The thought of a child losing her parents immediately triggered my nurturing side and I was totally moved to tears watching that whole issue unfold.  Then as the main characters took on the parenting roles, I remembered how I felt so overwhelmed when I had my first child, even with 9 months to get used to the idea!  So it was really easy to be sympathetic and even laugh when these two single people, who had parenthood thrust upon them, struggled with basics like changing diapers (Josh's character gagging and running out of the room) and trying to calm an inconsolable baby at 2 a.m. Kathryn and Josh made the struggle seem believable, not campy or trite. 

Then...there was the whole "neighborhood support" issue, which had me in stitches, because again...I could relate to the whole dynamic!   The lady who brings casseroles, the endless unsolicited parenting tips, the married couple with 9 kids who always looks tired and wrung out...it's true to life and it made me reflect on my own neighbors with both affection and irritation.  There were seriously some very funny scenes involving the neighbors.  Gotta love 'em!

I won't give anymore of the movie away, but I will say, I was a little concerned at first that there wouldn't be enough meat to carry the plot and that it would just be a bunch of poopy diaper and spit-up jokes, both of which were part of the script, but there was a lot more going on in the story. 

Life As We Know It really is a light-hearted, somewhat realistic snapshot of what people face everyday as they decide to merge lives and raise a child.  Careers, income, even which TV shows to watch...everything changes when you bring a baby into the picture!  It was refreshing to watch Kathryn Heigl and Josh Duhamel play out everyday situations that most of us face with great comedic timing and with the emotion that we all feel when it comes to choosing a partner and raising a family.  And yes, I get that this is a movie and movies generally tend to have happy endings, but sometimes life has happy endings too.  This movie gave me some perspective and helped me laugh at my parenting challenges and made me want to try harder for my own happy ending. 

Life As We Know It opens October 8th.  Go see it!  It's totally worth the admission price!

**Disclosure: “I attended a complimentary screening of this movie to facilitate my review and received a gift card from Mom Central as a thank you for my time.”**