Pages

Showing posts with label funny boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny boys. Show all posts

Thursday, June 5, 2014

MIsadventures of a Parenting Yogi - Book Review

I appreciate people who can talk honestly about life, especially when it comes to subjects like childbirth and parenting.  I also appreciate funny people.  I really adore people who can talk honestly about life and make me laugh while they do it, which is why I am happy to share a book I just read!  The book is titled Misadventures of a Parenting Yogi.  The title had me at “Misadventures”.  Any book with a title containing that word has got to be filled with some hilarious stuff, right?  Add to that the words parent and Yogi?  Yeah…I’m in.


Misadventures of a Parenting Yogi is all that it purports to be.  It is, just like I surmised, a candid and humorous look at parenting from the viewpoint of Brian Leaf, a yoga instructor (one of his many titles) from Massachusetts.   Brian has managed to create a memoir/parenting book combo that is neither preachy or self-indulgent.  The glimpses into his family life and his attempts at conscious parenting are both funny and poignant and although I did not agree with all of Brian's parenting choices, I could totally relate to his struggle to find his "happy spot" as a dad.  I love that rather than offering advice, he simply shares his experiences and the lessons he has learned while raising his own children.
Here is an excerpt from one of my favorite chapters: 
It’s 5:00 AM. I have to pee very badly. 
And I’d like to go meditate.
Someone else would simply get out of bed, pee, and blithely head off to their cushion.Not me.
To do this, I must pull off a CIA operation.
I must remove the covers, inch by inch — in the dead of night our comforter sounds like a crinkly bag of potato chips. I must crawl to the edge of the bed (our bed is pinned against the wall to make room for Benji’s changing table). I must step off, and in the pitch-black, follow the border of the bed frame.
I must round the corner of the bed, where someone who designed our bed has very cruelly placed a jutting protuberance at exactly shin height. At five in the morning I forget this every time. I must stifle my cries. Power through the pain. Eyes tearing, I round the corner and toe the balance-beam width between Benji’s changing table and our bed, ever careful, ninja-like, to step lightly.
I am almost out. But now I face my greatest challenge. The small distance between me and the door, maybe five feet, is a minefield of creaky floorboards. Gwen has them memorized. For some reason I do not. At first I pause to consider my options, and then I panic, sprinting the short distance to the door.
My feet land extra heavy, and the floorboards creak like mad...yet no one awakens. Hashtag grateful.On the way out, I shut the door in one motion, careful that it does not squeak, promising to myself that today is the day I will remember to oil the hinges.
Failure in this operation is not an option. Benji is not sleeping more than two hours at a stretch. Neither, therefore, is Gwen. She is grumpy. I must not wake her or Benji.
So totally relatable, right?  Every parent can picture themselves in this exact same predicament!  And here's one of the answers I liked best from his Q and A session:

Q and A with author Brian Leaf

The subtitle of your book is Cloth Diapers, Cosleeping, and My (Sometimes Successful) Quest for Conscious Parenting. What do you mean by Conscious Parenting?
Conscious Parenting is really no different from conscious anything else. It could be conscious Monopoly playing, conscious eating, conscious hiking, or conscious Texas Hold’em. It simply means being aware of whatever is happening – the challenges, the joys, the anxieties, as well as our reactions to all of this. When we are aware of something we are separate from it. So, instead of acting from frustration, elation, or fear, we act from our deeper selves. We see more clearly and are more free to behave as we choose.

And finally, a glimpse of the author in action:

YesWhat he said! You can find Brian's books on sale at both Amazon and on his website. Perfect Father's Day gift!!

Disclosure: I received a copy of Brian's book from publisher New World Library to help facilitate this review, but was not compensated in any way.  All opinions are my own!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Chuck Norris Bonding Time

My boys are struggling to get along lately.  They seem really impatient with one another.  The constant bickering is WEARING ON MY LAST NERVE!!  So it was kind of nice to hear laughter coming from the bedroom area last night.  I stood quietly outside the door to my youngest son's room so I could eavesdrop.  They were singing this:

Baby, you are Chuck Norris
Show us all your awesome fists
Make the bad guys fly fly fly
Roundhouse kick them to the sky sky sky

Bam Bam Bam
Chuck can swim right through dry land land land
He can shoot down any plane
by pointing and just saying bang

Cause baby he is Chuck Norris
Behind his beard there is a fist
Makes a cyclops cry cry cry
By punching him between the eye

Then the laughter took over.  They were laughing so hard they couldn't sing anymore.  And my heart was instantly lifted.  My sons were bonding. Over Chuck Norris jokes.  Which I find hilarious.  Because I am actually kind of fascinated by the man and the myth that is Chuck Norris (I think it comes from the fact that my Grandma used to make me watch Walker Texas Ranger with her all the time).  


I'm not obsessed with the guy, mind you.  I just think he's one interesting and bad ass dude.  I have on occasion talked about my affinity for Chuck when the boys wondered why I was watching Lone Wolf McQuaid on TV one Saturday afternoon.  My fondness for the Chuckster must have rubbed off on my children.  Glad to know my influence is being felt in this house.  Otherwise I might have had to break out some roundhouse kicks.  For a fat girl, I am very flexible.  

By the way...feel free to use my boys awesome song lyrics next time you sing karaoke to Katy Perry's Fireworks.  It'll be like a musical roundhouse kick to the face of your audience.  You're welcome. 


P.S. - Little known Chuck Norris fact:  Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you in the head so hard that 30 years from now your descendant will suddenly sustain a concussion while walking down the street. 




Sunday, April 29, 2012

Lunch Choice Logic from a 10 Year Old Boy's Perspective

Remember a long time ago when we talked about the different names our family has for the act of passing gas?  If not, read here first.  Seriously. Go read it.  I'll wait.   

(Cue Jeopardy Music)

Ready?  Okay...now read today's post.


Me:  "Where should we go for a quick lunch from the $1 menu, guys?  Burger King?  Wendy's?"

Little Man:  "Mom...we should go to Burger King.  Windies is a type of poot.  Maybe not the best place to go for food."

Me:  (Giant Snort Laugh) "It's not Windies, Buddy.  It's Wendy's.  Like the girl's name."

Little Man:  "Oh.  I always wondered why people wanted to eat at a place named after Farts." 

Wow.  This answers so many questions about his picky eating habits.   

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter in a Boymom House

This is what we did when we got home from a wonderfully, uplifting morning at church today:



What is it?  A bitten-in-half Peep.  

My oldest is not a Peeps fan.  Nobody in my house is, but Little Man insisted on having some in his basket this year.  So Big Brother decided to try one again.  He bit into it and immediately spit it out onto the plate.  

His response to the blue, sugary covered blob of squishy stuff?  "Gross.  I just ate Bird Butt."      

Cue hysterical laughter and frantic search for cellphone so I could post this on my blog. 

Happy Easter!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Not All Bubbles Are Fun

Conversation that took place in the back seat on the way to school today:

Little Man:  Look!  I can blow bubbles with my spit!  Can you?

Big Bro:  Yeah.  Mine are bigger.  Watch this one.   

Little Man:  What if we could blow bubbles with out butts!? 

(Hysterical laughter, snorts and guffaws)

Big Bro:  Then Dad's Butt Bubbles would be HUGE!!

(More hysterical laughter)

I did not participate in this conversation.  But had I chosen to make a remark, it would have been something to this affect:  

"Yes, Dad's Butt Bubbles would be huge!  They would also contain an incredibly noxious, nuclear-like  odor that could lay waste to an entire third world country in about 5 seconds flat.  I know, because I sleep in the same bed as the man.  And apparently, night time is the best time to practice butt bubble blowing, because I notice that's when he does his best work."
     

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

I seriously have no idea...I'm not sure he knows what he was doing either.

(Date on the picture is wrong, this was a self-portrait taken just a few days ago.)

Monday, June 23, 2008

I Know from Funny!

I love funny people! I used to be a funny person - seriously! I WAS FUNNY!! I even did a set once at the Johnny Walker Comedy Search. It was AWESOME!! That was probably one of my funniest days ever. I'll tell you about it someday.

Now I get too stressed out trying to figure life out. I used to joke about everything! Now I just worry about everything! I worry about my husband and kids. I worry that they will be too serious. I worry that I won't find funny me again. I worry that the pee that misses the toilet will never come out of the grout. I used to use humor as a coping skill. Now I guess I use denial, the internet, frustration and depression as coping skills? Oh yeah, and food. There's progress for you.

Slowly, each day, I am remembering how great humor is and sometimes I can actually manage to crack a joke and laugh with my kids! They are actually hysterical. Remind me to tell you the story about Little Man and fart juice. I know, I KNOW!! How disgusting! But seriously hysterical! And my husband can be hysterical too. Sometimes. He needs new material.

Which brings me to the joke of the day, which I found hilarious, but my husband did not. He still tries to make me laugh with the same stupid face and funky dance move that I thought was funny when I first met him. Like 20 years ago. Like I said, he needs new material. Or I need more patience. At any rate, here's the joke:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and I could hear people shouting "13...13....13...13..." The fence was too high to see over, so I looked through a hole in the fence...Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14...14...14..."

Speaking of jokes...I am sad today (not crying sad, just Oh no! sad) that George Carlin died! I watched and listened to him growing up (well, not all of his stuff, cause he could get a little raunchy, and I wasn't ALLOWED to watch or hear all of his stuff), but one of my favorites was called A Place for MY Stuff.

While I didn't agree with all of his political statements, George pushed the envelope when it came to using comedy to make people really see how ridiculous we can all be at times. Anyway, hit the internet and dig up some George Carlin stuff when you get a few minutes and really laugh! I'm sure that's how he would want to be remembered.

After you've laughed a bit, feel free to share your favorite joke or funny link here, if you like. But keep it clean! And just know...I used to be FUNNY!!