New Bertolli Meal Soup Review and Giveaway - CLOSED!

Winner Winner, Bertolli Meal Soup Dinner!!

Here is the result of the giveaway:

Congrats to latanya t !! 

I'll be contacting you so I can send out your coupons!! 

 

A few months ago I was given the opportunity to work with Bertolli to help them introduce their new line of Meal Soups.  We are a big fan of Bertolli spaghetti sauce and their olive oil is awesome!  But I was a little bit skeptical that a "Meal Soup" would truly be more like a meal than a soup.  I have to feed two active, growing boys and a husband who prefers more hearty meals to salad and rye crisps.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Bertolli Meal Soups actually live up to their name!  My first experience with the soups was great, so of course I am more than happy to work with Bertolli again to help them introduce two new flavor addition to the Meal Soup line.

 

 

Our week has been absolutely packed with work, school and evening activities, so the timing could not have been better to have a quick and easy meal to prepare for my family.  On two different nights I prepared Bertolli^® Italian-Style Wedding Soup and Bertolli^® Ricotta and Lobster Ravioli in a Seafood Bisque.  Both nights I served the soups with crusty Italian Bread and a salad ( I never said I was creative with my meal accessories) and had the entire meal ready in about 20 minutes!  How awesome is that?  And how much more awesome is it that everyone loved the soups and walked away full and happy two nights this week?  And even more awsome than a full and happy family?  I saved so much time on dinner prep and clean up that I was able to sit down and watch a chick flick before bed on a weeknight for the first time in FOREVER!

 

 

So how tasty are the soups?  Well, my mom has a word that fits these soups perfectly:  Mighsty.  It means mighty tasty.  And they are.  Mighsty I mean. 

 

The Ricotta and Lobster Ravioli in a Seafood Bisque (possibly the longest soup name ever) was full of shrimp and lobster/ricotta filled ravioli, both floating in a creamy seafood bisque that I think had a tomato base.  There were little bits of carrots and celery  to add some extra flavor and crunch.  I loved the carrots, but was not a big fan of the celery.  It seemed out of place in such a rich soup.  No one else in the family seemed to have a celery issue, so maybe it's one of those "texture" things for me.  At any rate, the soup was elegant and delicious and there was not one drop left at the end of the meal.

 

 

The next night we had the Italian-Style Wedding Soup.  This soup was the total opposite of the Ravioli in Seafood Bisque.  It had a much lighter base, but was still very filling because it is chock full of Mini Italian-style meatballs with spinach, bacon pieces, carrots and ditalini pasta in a savory broth.  My astute 13 year old immediately identified the bacon that I somehow missed as we were sorting through the bowls to identify all of the ingredients.  Little Man, my little carnivore, was excited to find plenty of meatballs and I loved the broth, spinach and pasta combo. 

 "Uhmmm...you have a little...uhmmm...thing...on your...uhmmm...you know what?  Nevermind."

BTW...the bag says Meal Soups for Two, but with the bread and salad, all four of us had a decent size bowl and felt completely satisfied after the meal.

 

Wow.  Two great meals from Bertolli that tasted yummy and helped our family eat healthy and hearty dinners, despite our time crunch!  The week was a lot less stressful because we had alternatives to fast food that didn't take a lot of time to prepare and allowed us to be home together around the table.

 

Bertolli also has a new line of Risottos that I am dying to try if I can find them in this podunk town! I may have to drive out of my normal 15 mile radius to find them.  Check back for a bertolli Risotto review and Giveaway in the next week or so!

 

Wanna Win Bertolli Meal Soups?  Bertolli has graciously offered two coupons for free Meal Soups to one of my readers!!   Go check out the Bertolli website and then leave a comment telling us which Meal Soup you think your family would love.  Easy Peasy, right?  Just like dinner is with Bertolli! 

 

 

Want extra entries?  Do any of these and leave a comment with links to your posts, tweets or status updates:

• Follow my blog
• Tweet about the contest
• Like the Bertolli Facebook Page
• Post a link to this giveaway as your status update on Facebook
• Mention the Giveaway on your blog

Contest will end on October 15th at 12 midnight MST. Winner will be chosen by random drawing using Random.org and notified if chosen. Please make sure to leave your email so I can get in touch with you if you win!  Thanks for reading and good luck!

 

 

***Disclosure - Bertolli provided me with products to help facilitate this review.  However, the honest opinions shared on this review are my own.**

 

     

 

I Forgot How Back to School Works in My House

Whew!  Back to school and so glad to have some kind of routine again!  Everybody seems to have settled in to new classes and schedules and both boys are glad to get back to the business of making new friends while they whine about learning new stuff.

 

I have to say, I was surprised that I was caught off guard by Little Man's annual first day of school meltdown this year.  None of his friends OR their parents OR his teachers ever believe me when I say the kid can throw a major fit because he is "such a good kid!"  Well, he IS a good kid, but when he decides he has a problem, let me just tell you he verbalizes it loudly and incessantly. 

 

The issue this year is the same issue we have every year, which is that he needs to know that the teacher he has is going to take the time to get to know him on a very personal level.  He needs to bond.  And he really despises a classroom that seems too structured.  He needs to know he has some wiggle room to be himself.  The weird thing about that is, he really doesn't do anything that would go against any kind of structure in the classroom.  He just needs to know that if he wanted to be a little talkative or wiggly at his desk, he could.  And he gets himself ALL WOUND UP until he figures out how to function inside the sytem of his new classroom, EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. 

 

I know, I KNOW!  Another crappy phone pic.  Can't afford a new camera!

 

I guess the fact that he was excited for school to start this year made me think he was past the First Day Freakout.  WRONG!  That evening at bedtime, after an afternoon of "school was fine" conversation, the tears started rolling and the declarations that he would not go back to school if he couldn't have a different teacher were loudly and angrily proclaimed over and over again.  "Mom.  The teacher spent all day just telling us the rules.  There are so many rules.  We just talked about rules! You have to talk to the principal and get me out of his class!" 

 

He was amazingly unhappy with my response, which was that I would not remove him from the class at this point because "YOU BARELY MET THE GUY!  And you were only in his class for half a day!  Three hours is NOT enough time for you to make an assessment about whether he is evil or poopy or hates corn or throws tape balls at kids who misbehave!  (I did NOT tell him that I sometimes make assessments about people in 3 minutes, especially customers who call in with ridiculous questions that could easily be answered by actually reading the words on the bill that they are holding in their hand while they are on the phone with me, but he will learn about those kinds of people soon enough, so for now I will encourage him to look for the good in people before passing jusdgement.)

 

Again my logical and well thought out reply was eschewed for hystrionics and declarations that if things weren't better the next day he would go to the principal himself and tell her he needed a new teacher, to which I replied, "Go for it, Buddy.  Knock yourself out.  Good luck with that and let me know how your conversation with her goes."  Who am I to stop a kid who is unafraid to take his concerns up the chain? 

 

Actually, I figured things would get better the next day, but secretly I was feeling pretty lucky that I had an out and could let the principal take the heat on this one.  Sweet!  I wrote her a note to let her know what was coming and to tell her I would support her decision to let him learn to deal with a teacher who may not meet my son's personal agenda. Unless the guy is a total dillweed.  Then of course I want him moved.  I didn't say that last part because it occured to me that this particular school is not really  big on hiring dillweeds.  I digress.  The point I am trryyyyiing to make here is that I want Little Man to understand that he will have to interact with lots of teachers and bosses that he may not adore in his life and he needs to learn to deal with those people and situations, because we can't always change the circumstances that put us in their sphere of influence.  Nor should we.  At least not until those people make you so crazy that you want to flatten their tires or spit in their coffee.  THAT would probably be a good time to look at changing those circumstances.  But he ain't there yet.

 

So what was the end result of all of this First Day drama?  Nothing.  Second day was fine.  Mr S. is OK.  According to my kid, he's not as good as Mr. T was last year, but apparently he passed muster.  And the principal, who LOVES my son and can't imagine him EVER having such a fit because he is such a polite and well-behaved boy?  She laughed hysterically and was a little disappointed that he didn't come marching into her office with a list of his demands and expectations.

 

And me?  I made a mental note to remember not to forget about the First Day Meltdown next year.   

Why I Watch the Olympics

My husband and boys were not very interested in watching the Olympics this year. They don't get my obssession with watching the games. They sat and watched a few events, like Phelps racing Lochte or a few gymnastics events, but by and large, they didn't pay too much attention to the whole Olympic thing.

I, on the other hand, LOVE watching the Olympics.  At least I used to, before NBC's crappy coverage this year.  Back in the day they used to show as many of the sports as possible.  Now they only show the few they think will give them the best ratings.  Which is sad.  Because we miss out on some really compelling and moving stories and competitions from lesser known sports and athletes.  I get that shooting and fencing might not make for the most interesting TV, but the athletes have unique and inspiring stories and their struggle for gold is no less real or difficult than the athletes who play basketball or swim.  I'm just saying, it would be nice to get a greater cross section of coverage for the games that showcase the best of the best.  Okay...enough of my rant.  I actually have a point to be made here.

Part of the draw of the Olympics, for me anyway, is the chance to see people who have overcome the odds just to participate in the games.  For them, win or lose, it's all about the journey.  I am always so impressed and amazed by people who have the discipline and determination needed to push themselves beyond the challenges and obstacles that might keep them from becoming world class athletes.  I think I admire them because I struggle with those characteristics.  Discipline does not come naturally for me.  So I love watching athletes who have given all they have, both physically and mentally, for a shot at being the best in their field. 

 

It gives me hope I suppose, to see Kieran Behan,  the gymnast from Ireland, the guy who was told he would never walk again, step onto the mat and do an amazing floor routine.  Did he win a medal?  Nope.  Not even close.  But he won my heart.  Because he proved that the human spirit is always stronger than we think. 

Kieran Behan - Photo credit: Ian Walton/Getty

 

A tumor, broken bones, torn ligaments and a traumatic brain injury threatened not only his athletic career, but his very existence on more than one occasion.  You can read more details about him here and here.  Somehow Kieran pushed through the pain and obstacles and in 2011, his perseverance finally paid off.  He won three World Cup medals, becoming Ireland's first World Cup gold medalist in the floor exercise.  Then he won a spot in the Olympics.   And he did all this with no sponsors!  There were no corporate conglomerates like Guiness or some sports drink to back him.  His mom and dad held bake sales and fundraisers and he worked to earn the money he needed to compete and travel.  All of this sacrifice and effort...because the boy who saw his first Olympics when he was maybe 6 years old wanted to be an Olympic gymanst himself.  In my eyes, he was a winner before he ever stepped into the Olympic Stadium. And I wish I had his courage.        

Stories like this are why I look forward to the Olympics.  I wanna hear about the kid from nowhere who bursts onto the scene and makes a name for herself.  Or the 71 year old Japanese equestrian who competed in dressage this year.  I get caught up in the drama as the competition unfolds and I have to decide whether to root for the underdog or the defending champion.

But my enthusiasm for the games is also emotional and sometimes brings on a bout of depression.  Because I want to me more like the Olympians I watch.   I want to be better about developing characteristics that propel me forward in life, rather than wallowing in the emotional baggage that keeps me trapped. I want to be better at facing and overcoming challenge and adversity.  I want to believe in myself to the point that I am willing to push beyond my preconcieved notions of my own capabilities.

This year as I sat and watched the gymnast from Ireland, I wondered out loud what has to happen in my life to motivate me enough to set some clearly defined goals and pursue them with Olympian style passion?  Why is there nothing in me that screams so loud that it forces me off of the couch and out of the house toward the successful completeion of something great?  Where is that drive?

I am 48 years old and the mother of 2 boys who rely on me to instill in them the qualities and characteristics they will need to be happy, successful, functional adults.  I want them to have the kind of determination and discipline required to overcome setbacks and succeed in life.  How can I teach them what I don't have?

 

So I decided to have my own closing ceremony this year when the Olympics ended.  I want to close the door on my past.  I wanna quit wondering and analyzing how I got so screwed up and walk away from my insecurities and self doubt.   I want to find my path and walk it, regardless of the challenges that are presented along the way.  So I wrote down a list of things I want to work on for the rest of the year.  Then I created an Olympic torch that looked a lot like my backyard BBQ, ran a really lame lap around my tiny backyard and then dropped some little pieces of paper with fears and doubts written on them into the fire and watched them burn.  Then I cried.  A lot.  I don't know why.  I wish Kieran Behan was here so I could ask him what to do next. 

What My Family Learned from the Andy Griffith Show - Part 1

Image Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

It was a sad day at my house a few weeks ago when Andy Griffith passed away.  Little Man was especially affected by Andy's death.  I know.  It's weird that a little kid in this day and age would be affected by the death of someone who played Matlock, right?  I mean, Andy Griffith's shows aren't exactly hits with the young people these days.  But after almost a year of watching at least 2 episodes of the Andy Griffith Show EVERY SINGLE DAY,  Little Man feels like he knows the characters personally.  He has invested in each character and storyline, paying attention to little details that make each town resident unique and loveable (or not so loveable...he thinks Ernest T. Bass is the most annoying man in the world).  

Of course he completely identifies with Opie (Ron Howard), which is the reason he started watching the show in the first place.  Someone once told him he looks like Opie, so he wanted to find out who Opie was.  We found the Andy Griffith Show on Netflix and introduced Little Man to Mayberry and the rest is, well...history.  One episode of Andy Grifffith and my son was hooked.  He is now a certified Mayberry "junkie" who can't make it a day without at least an hour of his favorite show. 

He loves it so much he wants to move to Mayberry when he grows up and buy Floyd's Barbershop and eat ice cream at Walker's Drug Store.  He wants to fill up his gas tank at Wally's Filling Station and sit out in front of the Courthouse with a soda and watch the people drive by.   I kind of half heartedly tried to explain one day that Mayberry has almost certainly changed since the show was made so many years ago, but part of me wondered if maybe it would be better to let him have his dream.  I love that my child is still innocent enough to think that Mayberry would remain the same town that it was 60 years ago.  I love he recognizes and seeks out the simple morals and values that existed on the Andy Griffith show and in small town America during that era.  And I absolutely adore the fact that he aspires to be a successful and prosperous member of such a community some day.

We've learned a lot about ourselves and each other while watching the show.  It sounds stupid to say that, but it's true!  The other day while we were talking about Andy's passing, we started talking about our favorite episodes and why we liked that particular show.  It was really interesting to hear the things my kids picked up on and how what they saw and heard impacted them.  I'll have to write another post about the lessons my family has learned while watching The Andy Griffith Show.  Like how EVERYONE has a Barney Fife in his/her life.  You know it's true!  You are thinking about that person right now and nodding your head.  "Oh my gosh!" you are exclaiming in surprise. "You're right, Geri!  I DO have a Barney Fife in my life!"  I know you do.  We all do. I'll elaborate more on the next post.  In the meantime, I'm gonna follow Andy's example and take my son fishing.  Rest in Peace, Andy Griffith.    

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms Review and Giveaway

About a month ago I was honored to be chosen as a "Don't Sweat" Mom.  The title doesn't come with a cool tiara or a guest spot on Ellen or anything like that.  What it does come with is an opportunity to share some insights and support with lots of other moms out there, many of whom have held me up during more than one difficult parenting situation. It also comes with an awesome new book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms, by Kristine Carlson.

Kristine Carlson is a mother and grandmother and the wife of the late Dr. Richard Carlson who authored the highly successful "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" series.  Kristine created her own very successful Don't Sweat series by writing 3 bestsellers of her own, including Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women.  

In her latest book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms, Kristine talks to moms about finding joy in everyday parenting and reveals how to:                                                          

• be a mom (not a friend)
• balance being a woman and a mom
• pursue your passion (but not at the expense of your children)
• and reclaim your family time.                                                                                   

Personally, as a mother, I tend to be a "sweater."  I DO sweat the small stuff.  Everyday.  All of the time.  I know why I'm that way.  I have this overexaggerated need to make sure that my kids have a home life that is very different from the kind of home life (or lack thereof) that I experienced.  Many times though, that drive creates the opposite effect and my micromanaging makes things very unenjoyable at home, for ALL OF US!  So it's been good for me to step back and get some input from other women who have figured it out, ya know? 

Kristine's book lays out some good advice, in short concise chapters, that helps busy and stressed out moms gain some perspective as they navigate the daily challenges that sometimes prevent us from enjoying our families more. One of the most helpful chapters for me as a mom at this particular time is called "When Things Fall Apart".  

"Then, they enter puberty and somehow we feel as though we've hit a wall.  We are exhausted; we've lost all confidence in ourselves, in our future, in our ability to mother with the wisdom and pleasure we once had.  What happened, we ask ourselves.  Nothing much - unless you notice that our own lives are convulsing too.  One might think that Mother Nature is playing a terrible joke when we stop to realize that our kids' teenage years are taking place alongside the emergence of our own midlife issues that can exacerbate the stresses we feel with our children."

BOOM!  Someone just defined exactly how I am feeling!!  How relieved am I to know that a) I am not the only person who does not feel at all prepared to deal with teenagers at this particular juncture of my own messed up life and b) that this midlife crisis thing that I feel like I have been going through for-freaking-EVER is also a somewhat normal, albeit unpleasant, part of the parenting journey?!?  I don't know that this realization will make this part of the process any easier, but at least now I have a definition of what the problem is so I can work on developing the parenting tools I will need to make sure my family survives this period of growth.

It is truly amazing to me how things and people come into our lives when we need them the most.  This is the second book I have read in the last few weeks that has spoken directly to the issues I am facing as a mother trying to hold her family together during a difficult time and as a woman looking for fulfillment in her personal life.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms reminded me that I'm not going to get everything right when it comes to raising my boys.  I know that, but it's hard to let go of the warped idea that just maybe, if I try hard enough, things might go exactly as planned and my two boys might have a shot at being amazing people.  I get too uptight when things go wrong, which seems to happen a lot the last few years.  And knowing how it feels to be on the receiving end of someone else's poor choices or mistakes, it causes me great pain to think that I might wreck their lives because of choices I make.  So I try to control everything and I fail miserably and we all end up depressed.  As Kristine says, "there's no such thing as a perfect mom."  As much as I want their childhood to be safe and happy, things are going to happen that will be difficult for our family to navigate and no amount of micromanaging is going to change the fact that life is messy and my kids might get a little dirtied up trying to figure it all out.  The best gift I can give them is to let go of the "small stuff" that undermines my confidence and find a way to be happy with who I am.  When I can learn to do that, I will be free to create a home that allows them to feel safe and loved while they figure out who they are and what they want from their own lives.

So...now that you know my thoughts about Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms, wanna win a copy of your own?  To enter, leave a comment that tells us some of the best parenting advice you've recieved.  Contest will end on June 9th @ 12 pm MST.  Winners will be chosen at random and notified by email or announced on this blog.

To extra entries you can do any of the following, just leave a comment letting me know what you did:

• Follow I Am Boymom on this Blog, Twitter and Facebook
• Connect with the Don’t Sweat Moms:
  • Facebook ~ Facebook.com/DontSweatMoms
  • Twitter ~ Twitter.com/DontSweatMoms
  • YouTube ~ YouTube.com/user/dontsweatmoms
  • Pinterest ~ Pinterest.com/dontsweatmoms

Didn't win the giveaway?  Don't sweat it!!  (Did ya see what I just did there?  Sorry, couldn't resist.) Everyone's a winner here! You can still get a free gift!  Kristine is giving moms a chance to get the first chapter of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms for FREE!!  Woot!  Just click the link below.

**Disclosure:  I received a free copy of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms to facilitate this book review.  My thoughts and opinions about the book are honest and are my own.**

Suburban Haiku: Boys to Men Review and Giveaway

Winner Update:  I decided to give BOTH of the contest entrants a copy of Peyton's Suburban Haiku: Boys to Men!  Congrats to Miss Jenno and NoraRuth!!  Thanks for sharing your boymom haikus with me and my readers and thanks to Peyton Price for inspiring me to live a more full life!



About a week and a half before Mother's Day, mother, haiku writer and humorist Peyton Price ran across my blog and asked if I would be interested in talking about her newest book, Suburban Haiku: Boys to Men.  After reading the title, it was completely obvious that both Peyton and the book are perfect compliments to the I Am Boymom blog, so how could I say no!?  Three haikus in I was hooked.

I'm not gonna give too much away about the book, other than to say it is an insightful, touching and truly hilarious view of raising boys from a mom's perspective, written in 3 line, 17 syllable haikus.  From the first haiku to the last, Peyton draws us in to her parenting world, using humor and the familiar 5-7-5 rhythm to chronicle the lives of her family.  The end result is a surprisingly funny and tender account of a mom watching her boys grow into men.

So two things happened to me after I read Suburban Haikus: Boys to Men.  First, I remembered what I already knew but tend to forget in the flurry of daily family life:   I'm not the only mom who doesn't have perfect kids.  Knowing that there are other moms out there struggling to teach their kids how to be happy, successful adults helps me not beat myself up on the days when pre-teen emotions and hormones are raging and I can't seem to get things under control.

The second thing that happened is that I recognized something has been missing in my life.  When I started this blog, it was because I needed a way to process my thoughts and feelings about being a mom to two boys who challenge me on a daily basis to be a better person. We have been in survival mode for so long now that I lost sight of my purpose for recording our journey.  I remembered, after reading Peyton's haikus, that I can create memories with my words and that by doing so, I can help my boys find meaning in their own lives when they read about themselves through their mother's eyes.  

I am in awe of women like Peyton Price, who find ways to use their talents to bring joy and happiness to their own lives while bettering the lives of their families.  Suburban Haiku: Boys to Men is a wonderful reminder that simple observations can become poignant memories that bind our children to us forever.

I so cannot wait to read some of Peyton's other haiku books!  Are you feeling the same way?  Wanna win a copy of Suburban Haiku: Boys to Men for yourself?  Peyton Price has generously offered to give an ebook version of the book to one of my readers!!  You can get either the Nook or Kindle version, all you have to do is share a quick parenting haiku in the comments.  I'll leave the first haiku comment to get you all started.  Easy peasy, right?  Then for extra entries you can do one of the following:

• Follow my blog if you are a new reader
• Like Suburban Haiku on Facebook
• Follow Suburban Haiku on Twitter
• Follow I Am Boymom on Twitter
• Check out Suburban Haiku website and tell me what other Peyton Price book you might like

The Deets:  Contest will end on May 31, 2012  @ 12 PM MST.  Winner will be chosen in random drawing or by Random.org the following week and winner will be notified by email.  Good luck and thanks for stopping by!  vvvvvv Now on to the haikus! vvvvvvv 

These are the Moms of My Life

I am a mom.  To be specific, I am a Boymom.  Mom of two boys.  And it is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, trying to be a great mother so I can teach these two amazing kids how to be the best men they can be. 

Had anyone told me when I was 20 that I would relish this role, I would have called them a crack smoker.  But honestly?  I can't imagine doing anything different with my life. 

So while I take a few minutes to prepare for the onslaught of effort that will be made on my behalf to make Mother's Day a special day for me (from church programs sang by fidgety kids to funny, little handmade gifts and a burnt toast breakfast), I want to take a minute to smother the mothers I have in my life with oodles of love and appreciation.

Some of you know my life history.  Life's circumstances meant I lived in a few different homes growing up, so I have had the blessing of having more than one motherly figure in my life.  I want to take a minute to honor them all.

My "foster" mom is an amazing woman who opened her heart and her home to welcome my sister and me when we needed somewhere to go for a a few months because my mother's work took her out of town before our high school year ended.  D and her husband gave us a room and a family and a home life that we had not experienced before. 

I didn't appreciate how difficult it must have been for D to take on two more kids when she already had her own family.  I also didnt appreciate how much work she did to keep her family going.  D worked full-time outside of the home, then came home everyday to cook dinner and do laundry and assign chores and keep the house running.  

We didn't have a lot of heart to heart talks while I lived there because I was struggling with my own issues and didn't always see the wisdom of her ways.  Honestly, I wasn't sure she even liked me.  I didn't think she hated me, I just didn't think she cared one way or the other about me.  So it didn't seem like I'd be missing much when I decided to leave home and live on my own at 17 years of age.  I quit going to D's house and disappeared into the world to try to get away from my past. 

Imagine my surprise and amazement that D was one of the first people to welcome me home when I finally decided to quit running.  There was this wonderful woman, who had, unbeknownst to me, worked so hard those first few years that we lived there to be an example and model of what a mother should be.  She wasn't worried about being my best friend, she was more concerned with teaching me how to become a good woman, a loving wife and a successful mother.  And I was so busy rebelling and hurting that I missed it when I needed it the most. 

But D is a kind and forgiving mother who received me with open arms and unconditional love.  She has become one of my best friends.  I turn to her and her husband often for advice and they continue to include us in family events and offer us support as if we are still part of their clan.  Her faith in God and devotion to her own children and grandchildren continues to inspire me to work hard to create the kind of loving, eternal relationships that will always exist in her family.

My dad's sister K is an amazing woman.  My husband calls her "Mom to the World."  Her capacity to love is bottomless and she is one of the most non-judgemental, kind people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

We went to live with K when I was about 10 or 11 and we stayed with them for 4 years, while my Dad was supposedly getting his collective crap together.  Life at K's house was normal, which was a good thing for us.  We hadn't experienced normal up until then, so it was nice to relax and feel safe where we lived. 

K went out of her way to make sure we felt loved and appreciated and did it with very little help from her husband (who was an OTR truck driver who was hardly ever home) and very little monetary support from my dad.  It wasn't easy for her or for us on many levels.  She took care of 6 kids everyday.  She was up before us every morning with breakfast on the table and made sure we ate dinner as a family every night. 

Looking back I can see now that we were pretty poor.  There was very little money for anything other than basic necessities, but K always managed to find a way to make sure we had what we needed.  Best of all, she treated us like she treated her own kids.  She made us her own while we were under her care and we never felt like we didn't belong.  I love K.  K is a caretaker in every sense of the word.  She nutures and loves and gives with all of her heart to anyone who needs to feel the healing powers that love creates.  She truly is "Mom to the World."

Finally, I want to send a giant cyber hug to my biological mom.  My mom had a rough start in life herself.  She was forced to leave home at a very young age when her father had an emotional breakdown and became physically abusive.  She had no support from my grandmother, who I suppose was scared for her own life at that point and my mom ended up becoming a teenage mother at the age of 17.  She did her best to make things work with my dad, but in the end I think lack of maturity and support led to their divorce.  I was 5 yrs old at the time and didn't see my mom again until I was 10 or 11 years old. 

I used to wonder why she didn't try harder to get custody of us.  A few years ago I ran across some letters she wrote to my dad right after they split up.   She was asking to spend some time with us.  She had tried on more than one occasion to see us, but it seems my stepmother wouldn't allow it.  That was a big moment for me.  I started to realize that some of my resentment and frustration about her not being there for us was probably misplaced.  Suddenly she was not as much of an uncaring mother as I thought she was and I had to kind of adjust my thought process regarding her departure.

We spent a few summers with her when I turned 10 or 11 and then when I turned 15 she decided she wanted custody, so we left my Aunt's house and went to live with my mom.  I won't lie.  It was a tough transistion.  My mom hadn't been around kids or raised kids before and she wans't used to having to share her time or space with two teenage girls.  We had no real previous relationship with her and it wasn't easy to create one, for any of us.  

I try not to blame anyone for how things went down, my mom and I were victims of a lot of bad circumstances.  What I realize now is that for all of the hard times we had with each other, trying to figure out how to live together and bond, I know deep down my mother really cared about me.  She just didn't communicate that very well, or at least the way that I needed to hear it. 

The fact is, as I look back, I can see she was doing her best to show me she cared by trying to help me become a self-sufficient, competent, hard-working person.  I didn't always appreciate how hard it must have been for her to overcome her upbringing (or lack of) enough to try to share herself with two girls who really would rather not have moved in with her in the first place.  I wonder if she laid there at night sometimes thinking that she'd made a huge mistake.  It didn't help that she worked 7 days a week and didn't have a lot of time to help us acclimate to our new surroundings.  We didn't know to ask for what we needed and she didn't understand how badly we were struggling.

I ended up going my own way and trying to create the kind of life I wanted, but always at some point in my travels, I ended up back at home, close to my mom.  Because I really didn't know what else to do.  Something in my heart just wouldn't let me give up on trying to figure out how to love and be loved back by the woman who brought me into this world. 

There's so much more to this story, but the bottom line is this:  because I am a mother myself, I am finally able to see things from a different point of view when it comes to my mother.  She is no longer the person who left me, who wouldn't take the time to understand and help me when I was a scared teenager.  She is an sensitive and kind hearted person who could not take one more bit of pain in her life and so she became tough to survive.  She did the best with what she had and she took responsibility for her children when she was finally able to and raised us the best way she knew how.

She really IS the female John Wayne.  Tough as leather on the outside, heart of gold on the inside.  I'm glad her heart has finally been exposed.  It's a good heart. 

She has become a wonderful grandmother who is working hard to love and support her grandkids and she has a wicked sense of humor.  She taught me a lot about fighting injustice and taking a stand and speaking out when someone needs defending.  She taught me how to work hard, although I think she wonders if I have learned that lesson sometimes, as I can't seem to find my place in the world when it comes to providing for my family.  I won't go into that now, my mom deserves her moment in the sun. 

When push comes to shove, the bottom line really is this:  She has never given up on trying to be my mother.  She could have walked away so many times, starting with the day she found out she was pregnant.  She didn't though.  She chose to have me.  She gave me life.  And then she tried, time and time again to be a part of my life after we were separated.  And despite all of our struggles growing up together, she continues to try to understand me and all of my issues.  I know it's hard for her to watch me struggle.  I know she wonders why I can't get my crap together.  I wonder myself.  But that doesn't keep her from staying in touch.  

She tries to offer advice without being judgmental and she offers financial support when she knows it will help.  I think I'm her problem child and I know her life would be easier if she didn't have to worry about me.  But she's still hanging in there, trying her hardest to fill the role I need her to fill. 

I suck at telling her how much I love and appreciate her because it's just now becoming ok for us to talk about stuff like that and sometimes it still feels awkward.  But it shouldn't be awkward anymore. 

Which is why I want to publicly thank her and the other women in my life who continue to rally around me and my family.   Thanks for the love, the patience, the examples and the support.  I would not be the mother I am today had you ladies not been part of my life. 

Happy Mother's Day!