Will Work for...a Job.

Let me start by saying this is an absolutely true story. I am not making this up. My sarcastic alter ego surfaced and before I could kick her to the curb, this is what happened:

Today I was looking for work because we are currently in a tough spot. I happened to run across a really interesting job post regarding training kids with ADD/ADHD. Besides the great pay, I am extremely interested because my son is having attention/focus/learning issues.

So, I called the business to ask some questions about location, etc. The lady on the other end asked where I live. I told her where I live, which is about 40 miles from where her office is located. Immediately she launched into why it might not work for me because of the distance, how it would take too much gas and too much time to get there and that unless I was willing to relocate, I should probably not apply for the job. No questions about my experience. Just where I live. Umm, Ohhhkkkaaaaayy.

My first thought was, "Isn't it my choice to determine how far I am willing to drive to work?" My second thought was "You are telling me I need to try to sell my house in the worst housing market in history so I can move to the other end of town for a part-time job?" So in addition to training kids with ADD, apparently she also likes to give people bad advice.

I kept my cool and let her know that if the job is something I think might work for me I would be willing to drive. Totally messed her up. So then she moved on to talking about my son, whom I mentioned when asking about the program they use. I will say, she's a great salesperson. She has me convinced that this is definitely something worth looking into for my son, whether I work there or not. Remarkably, this woman, who just 2 minutes ago didn't think I should be spending time and money driving to her office for work everyday, suddenly has no problem with me driving my son there for appointments 3 times a week!! Go figure. Maybe gas costs less when you are driving somewhere for ADD help as opposed to driving there for your job.

Anyway, after all of the explanations and sales pitches, she tells me how much the assesment will cost, which is actually reasonable, but not doable right now. She's trying to get me to make an appointment and I keep trying to explain we don't have the assessment fee.

Finally the jerk in me came out and without thinking I snapped, "I can't give YOU money right now. That's why I called for a job. You said you want to hire someone and I need a job. So you can give ME money. That's what jobs are for, right? So you keep asking me to pay you for a service, which I'm sure is worth the money, but if I'm calling and asking for a job, doesn't it make sense that I need to get a paycheck before I can give you money? Which is why I called. I need a paycheck. So I can get the money to pay you to help my son, and maybe buy some groceries and also pay for the gas that I will need to get both me and my son there to your office; me to work for you and him to get ADD help. So can I have the job?" Her response? "Send me your resume and make a note on it that we spoke." Think I'll get the job?