I'm NOT a Mean Person

I woke up feelin' a little "blaster's remorse" over the discussion I had with the ADD lady about a job. Then I read the comments you all left. I'm glad some of you thought it was funny. I thought it was humorous too, when I wrote it. Actually, it still makes me giggle, but I realized that maybe I didn't need to take my frustrations out on this lady just because she doesn't like to listen when people are asking her for a job and can't afford her service.

Normally I'm just not that rude to people. So...while it is a great story, I don't want any of you to think I just walk around blasting people because I think it will make a funny blog post. Nor do I blast people because I am a mean person. In fact, I very rarely blast people at all. I just blasted her because I was feeling a little worried and she wouldn't listen. Have I established yet that my real problem with her was that she wouldn't listen? Anyway, I guess it's good that I didn't really lose control and drop the f-bomb and the b-bomb and whatever other bomb managed to reach my lips and form a word.

I also realize that this is not the normal approach one would take to find gainful employment. People tend to frown on being blasted by someone they would consider a potential employee. Blasting people is not usually listed in the job requirements or desired experience when applying for a position. Obviously, I need to show the next potential employer a whole different skill set. Like my ability to have 3 different conversations with 3 different people simultaneously and keep track of them all. Or my adeptness with Super Glue and broken toys. Or...I could take the opposite approach and find a job that required me to be rude and explosive over the phone, like say an IRS Call Center position or a collection agency. Maybe I could be a writer for Rosie O'Donnell and just sit around writing nasty things she can say to people in her rants.

Instead, I think I will focus on positive things and move on. I know it may be boring to do that, but I think eventually, this strategic move will pay off. I thought about calling the ADD lady and apologizing, but I don't think I can sit through another sales pitch right now.

Will Work for...a Job.

Let me start by saying this is an absolutely true story. I am not making this up. My sarcastic alter ego surfaced and before I could kick her to the curb, this is what happened:

Today I was looking for work because we are currently in a tough spot. I happened to run across a really interesting job post regarding training kids with ADD/ADHD. Besides the great pay, I am extremely interested because my son is having attention/focus/learning issues.

So, I called the business to ask some questions about location, etc. The lady on the other end asked where I live. I told her where I live, which is about 40 miles from where her office is located. Immediately she launched into why it might not work for me because of the distance, how it would take too much gas and too much time to get there and that unless I was willing to relocate, I should probably not apply for the job. No questions about my experience. Just where I live. Umm, Ohhhkkkaaaaayy.

My first thought was, "Isn't it my choice to determine how far I am willing to drive to work?" My second thought was "You are telling me I need to try to sell my house in the worst housing market in history so I can move to the other end of town for a part-time job?" So in addition to training kids with ADD, apparently she also likes to give people bad advice.

I kept my cool and let her know that if the job is something I think might work for me I would be willing to drive. Totally messed her up. So then she moved on to talking about my son, whom I mentioned when asking about the program they use. I will say, she's a great salesperson. She has me convinced that this is definitely something worth looking into for my son, whether I work there or not. Remarkably, this woman, who just 2 minutes ago didn't think I should be spending time and money driving to her office for work everyday, suddenly has no problem with me driving my son there for appointments 3 times a week!! Go figure. Maybe gas costs less when you are driving somewhere for ADD help as opposed to driving there for your job.

Anyway, after all of the explanations and sales pitches, she tells me how much the assesment will cost, which is actually reasonable, but not doable right now. She's trying to get me to make an appointment and I keep trying to explain we don't have the assessment fee.

Finally the jerk in me came out and without thinking I snapped, "I can't give YOU money right now. That's why I called for a job. You said you want to hire someone and I need a job. So you can give ME money. That's what jobs are for, right? So you keep asking me to pay you for a service, which I'm sure is worth the money, but if I'm calling and asking for a job, doesn't it make sense that I need to get a paycheck before I can give you money? Which is why I called. I need a paycheck. So I can get the money to pay you to help my son, and maybe buy some groceries and also pay for the gas that I will need to get both me and my son there to your office; me to work for you and him to get ADD help. So can I have the job?" Her response? "Send me your resume and make a note on it that we spoke." Think I'll get the job?

Double Post Day!!!!!

Moving on from the last touchy-feely post, there's another BOYMOM out there! And guess what? She ROCKS!! (You can thank her for some of the mushiness of the "You had me at Hello" post. In addition to designing great shirts she also gives great advice.) Check out boymomdesigns.com. Amy created some awesome shirt designs for those of us who are raising little men. Read her story...in my opinion she expresses very well what Boymoms all over the world are experiencing on a daily basis. Then buy a shirt. Wear it proudly. We Boymoms gotta support each other! We need to invent a secret sign or handshake...something that says,
"Hey! You look like a gal who's pulled one too many weird things out of the washer today." If I can find someone to donate a prize, maybe that'll be my first contest. I'll let ya'll know. Maybe we can get a boy to work on this...they gots some mad secret handshake skills.

You had me at Hello.

One of the reasons I decided to start a blog was that I want to feel more connected to the world outside my door, my town, my realm of reality. I also wanted to be able to express my thoughts and feelings in a way that others might find interesting and maybe helpful on some level. I guess truth be told, it's my way of trying to be part of something bigger than myself, but still indulge my ego!

At first I kind of freaked out, because I started to find all of these wonderfully creative and funny blogs which were wonderfully designed with all kinds of little doodads and chachkis. Mine felt plain and amateurish and I felt out of touch and kind of inadequate. I used to think I was a pretty creative, funny person. For some reason, I forgot that there are other funny, creative people out there too and now How am I going to shine and stand out in the crowd!?! DANG!!! The doubt and frustration set in and I wondered if this was even worth the effort. Which made me really start to think about what it is I am trying to achieve here by blogging.

In the meantime, while I was all wrapped up in deep thought, I posted a kind of bummer post about feeling lost. Then something happened. Instead of me being the one to offer all of this great, hard-earned wisdom and advice, I have found myself on the receiving end of some really caring and kind words from other Bloggers out there. THIS is why I love the internet. THIS is why I find myself scouring other blogs, looking for a semblance of normalcy in my life by comparing my experiences with others out there who are willing to share theirs. THIS is what I am hoping to achieve by starting mine. I guess I really hope that at some point, someone out there who is struggling will run across my blog and read something that makes them laugh or cry or think or do whatever it is they need to do that day to feel okay and feel like they can cope with one more stupid issue that life hands them. Because that's what so many of you do for me. And for being yourselves, and sharing your experiences and offering words of encouragement, I thank all of you Bloggers and Forum friends out there (gives overzealous hugs...awkward silence). Umm...okay, then. I'll...just go...now.

Thunder

My mother, sister and 2 of her kids came over today. Boy Cousin (on the left in the pic) is 6 weeks younger than my oldest son, Big Brother (right in the pic). They have been pretty close to each other as they have grown up. They always love to see each other and for the most part, they have a great time playing. There are issues though. Cousin is very physically active and pretty good at anything that requires the use of his body. My son, Big Brother, is a techie. He's great at computers and PS2, not so great at physical activity. Every once in awhile this causes an issue. Like today. As soon as he arrived, Cousin jumped out of the Explorer and quickly joined the group of neighborhood boys who congregate in front of my house. They were all jumping over dirt ramps in the desert next to our house. (Note: very physical activity.) Big Brother is kind of afraid to jump, so he works on the ramps. Everyone played well for awhile, then it happened. Big Brother (who is very emotional, by the way) came in upset because all the boys were playing with Cousin and wouldn't play something different and they were being mean to Big Brother and "stealing his thunder." (Read: they tore up his ramp trying to see a scorpion. Nice.) All of this is blurted out through tears of distress and from the depths of a soul that is absolutely distraught at the turn his play date has taken. Drama ensues, Big Brother completely loses it and has to go upstairs to his bedroom to calm down. Here's the conversation that took place after everyone made peace and he was back outside:

Mom, laughing: "Did he say someone stole his thunder?"

(I don't remember who made which statement from here, it just unfolded, so roll with it!)

"Hey Big Bro, what were you doing taking your Thunder outside in the first place?"

"You know that Thunder isn't an everyday toy. It's only supposed to come out on special occasions."

"Yeah, Bud...Thunder doesn't grow on trees ya know."

"It's not easy to replace either! Now we're gonna have to wait for another thunderstorm to get some more. We live in the desert, that doesn't happen that often here."

"Wait til your dad finds out you got your Thunder stolen. You know how hard it is for him to get more. He has to get out in the storm with all the equipment and you know how irritable he gets when he gets struck by the lightning."

Right then My Husband walks in...

Mother: "Who's here?"
Me: "Zeus"

Women start laughing hysterically at our funny little conversation - Man looks at us like we're retarded. I love it when we think we are the funniest people alive. Even if we aren't, we try to be and that makes it almost true. Right?

P.S. - Big Brother went out and tried jumping the ramps after the big meltdown. Maybe someone stealing his thunder wasn't such a bad thing.

Wandering in the desert

I am struggling today, not wanting to post anything, because truthfully, it has just been a brutal freakin' week. And I just don't feel like I can go into detail and share it with everyone, but I still feel the need to post something, so I guess this is as good as it gets. Really, the problem is...my family is struggling to find our path, I guess. We've had a lot of changes in our lives recently and we've kind of had our foundation rocked a bit. It has left us wondering what to do, where to go, how to proceed. It's scary and worrisome and honestly, it's more stress than I want to deal with right now. It's more stress than my husband wants to deal with too. So we just walk around trying not to irritate each other. I'm left feeling guilty because I feel like the stress drains me of my energy and I am not fully engaged with the boys like I need to be. I am going through the motions, barely, and I know they feel it. The thing is...I don't know what to do to change the situation. We are just - LOST. That's it...don't know what else to say. Hope things look better tomorrow, I could use a moment of joy. On a happier note, so as not to end this post in a depressing fog, it was only like 75 degrees today, it was supposed to rain. No rain on our end of town, but lots of cool wind. So I guess that's something, I didn't have to spend the entire day stressed AND sweating.

Feelin' HOT HOT HOT!

I took a picture of my car radio console which shows the temperature outside for those of you who find it unbelievable that we are already in triple digits here. The fact that I am adding yet another post about the high temperatures should clue you all in to my wretched state of mind when it comes to the summer heat. How did people live here 100 years ago with NO AIR CONDITIONING!!! Some of my ancestors helped establish and build towns here in Arizona. First question - WHY? Second question - How did they live through it? Oh my heck!!! I know one thing: I would have been a rotten pioneer/settler. I would have been the one they kicked out of the wagon train, because I would have complained the whole way. And I can guarantee I would not have made camp long once we got to "our home" in the middle of the desert. One or two days of this heat and the throbbing migraines that follow and I woulda hit the dusty trail and headed for cooler climates. I'm sure I would have had a great sending off from all of my traveling companions who were tired of listening to me yammer! And I'm even more sure that 2 miles into my grandiose escape I would be gripin' about something else, like how hard it was to get through the mountains and how cold it was now. You know...glass half-empty girl.

As I write this, I remember that I am trying to have a more positive outlook on life. So I guess as I ponder the hardships of those who came before me, I will also ponder the miracle of air conditioning, automobiles, cotton clothing and swimming pools and thank the Lord that I was born in this era of technology. Cause I would have gone through lots of pencils and paper (and friends) trying to complain everyday by hand. Now I get to do it quickly and comfortably in just a few minutes time - I guess life ain't as bad as it could be. It's just dang hot.

101 Degrees and I'm gettin' mean!

It was 101 degrees outside today. I have officially begun my summer depression. I walked out to the car, opened the door and felt the heat on my face like a blast furnace. I tried not to start crying, sucked it up and got in the car. The car has black interior. We live in Phoenix. I did not choose the car, that's a story for antoher day. I will tell you my husband chose it. I don't think he thinks about things like burning your hands on a lava-hot steering wheel. He also doesn't think about things like interior colors. He was trying to do something nice, so I have to try to get over it...but days like this make it hard. Normally, this wouldn't be too big of an issue, because I usually park in the garage. But my hubby has a project in the garage which is going to require several large men to remove. Of course all of the large men we know are really busy, not to mention none of them live close to us...so I have to park in the driveway, in the heat. The kids are on my side, they have to sit in the solar oven with me. Maybe we'll take advantage of the situation and try to bake some bread in there...It's seriously that hot! And, bonus!! The car would smell great and I wouldn't look so stupid driving around with oven mitts on my hands!! White or Honey Wheat?

We're feeling a little sheepish...

Little Man has been studying farm animals now for a while at school. First he did butterflies, then plants, now animals. He has to make a farm animal out of crafty things, so he chose a sheep. We have been gluing cotton balls to a water bottle all week. Little Man thinks it would be cool if sheep pooped cotton balls. Yep, that's what he said. I could take that thought and run with it, but I'm sure you all have funny little visions of your own now about cotton poops, so we'll just move on.
Certainly makes the phrase "I'll be dipped in sheep s(poop)t" less scary though, doesn't it?
ANYWHOO...here's the sheep without a face or ears:


And here is the finished product, which went to school today.

It was Little Man's idea to put the bells on, he thought that would be cute. He named the sheep Jingles. I am going to finish picking the glued cotton strands off of the table and the clogged glue bottle now.

Are you tired already of reading about my family yet? You can tell the truth, I won't be offended. I really want this blog to be an interesting place to visit, so you all don't feel like you are wasting your time when you stop by. I will try to add variety to the blog...it's all new to me and I am still trying to flesh it out! In the meantime...thanks for dropping in.

Snaggletooth

My little guy lost another tooth Saturday night. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that a) it needed a few more weeks to loosen up more and b) he already has his 2 bottom teeth missing, so now it's hard for him to bite things.

Losing it was a bloody affair. He and his big brother and cousin were wrestling on the trampoline. Suddenly I hear crying and I see blood running out of his mouth and of course, I am instantly freaking out on the older boys, asking them what they did to him. Then Little Man holds up his tooth, crying, then screaming at the top of his lungs when he sees the blood, as if he's just been beat by a 300 pound professional boxer. Oh, the inhumanity of it all! After we finally get him calmed down, he tells me what happened. Apparently (or 'parently, as my 5 yr old niece says), he was wrestling with big brother and his tooth caught on brother's back pant pocket (I know...I am still trying to visualize how this could come to pass...is there butt biting in wrestling?) and when his brother stood up, Little Man's tooth was yanked out! OOOOWWWW!! Luckily the tooth was somewhat loose already, but still...OOWWW! So, the tooth fairy did her thing and now we are looking for foods that he can eat without a lot of complaining involved. Watermelon, anyone?

My Husband's Keeper?

My husband is getting ready to take the boys on a Father and Sons camping trip. By getting ready, I mean he is getting the oil changed in his truck and the tires rotated. I am the one who is getting all the camping gear out and getting everyone's clothes ready and packed and making sure they have the snacks and food they will need. I am not going camping with them. I expect my husband to come home and talk about how much work it is to get ready to go camping as he throws everything I've prepared in the back of the truck. Then he will probably ask me to call someone for directions to the campsite...even though I am not the one who will be driving... because I am not going camping with them! I know, I KNOW!! I set it up this way 10 years ago when we got married, 'cause I thought I was "taking care of my man." Now he has become somewhat helpless and I only have myself (and sometimes my mother-in-law... she doesn't have a computer - she can't read this!) to blame.

I think while he's gone I'm gonna volunteer him to go help at my Kindergartener's Farm Day Fair. He can hang out in the 98 degree Phoenix sun all day and help the kids with the petting zoo. Yeah...I'm like that.

My First Post on My First Blog

So, after many months of boring my friends and family with all kinds of worthless emails, I have decided to start a blog. That way they can come here when they want to, read whatever they want to and not have such a full email inbox. You can all thank me later for being self-aware enough to lighten your email burdens!

Seriously, I have been wanting to do this for awhile (start a blog, I mean) and after frequenting some other blogs (thepioneerwoman.com, ohmystinkingheck.com), I finally got off my butt and started to write.

I am also starting to submit small articles online, which you can read here. There's only one so far, but my goal is to submit 2 or 3 a week. Read it and tell me what you think!!

So this is it, my first post! The wild winds have been blowing by me for a while now, I have finally caught a-hold and Boymom and I are goin' for a quick ride! Whoo-hoo! Wish us luck!!